My husband and I have been married for over a decade. A while ago Sean shared the story of how we met through mutual friends, dated for a week, got engaged, and were married after only 3 months. I know it’s totally crazy but here we are… 4 kids and 13 years later. It’s been the most wonderful years of my life and for sure the most challenging. Marriage is just flat out hard. But so is pregnancy, motherhood, building a business, achieving goals, and just life in general. We all know this going into it, but we choose these things because of the reward. The tremendous joy and fulfillment they bring to our lives.
Every time we go through a rough patch in our marriage we always grow closer and learn valuable lessons from it. So coming from a woman of many years in age, I’m pushing 40 ya’ll, my 36th birthday is next month, here are my top 3 tips to improve your relationship with your husband.
1~ Stop talking…
No I’m kidding—– but not really, haha. What I mean is, stop including your husband in your over-analyzation of feelings and emotions. As much as I want my husband to replace my “BFF”, it just ain’t gonna happen. Sure, my husband is my best friend, but not the kind of “bestie” friendship you had in high school. Am I right? You know, the one you’d spend hours on the phone with, or stayed awake ALL night chatting it up. Literally just TALKING about anything and everything. Women simply never tire of conversing, should I really be using the word “simple” in the same sentence describing women? 
Talking is our favorite hobby. Men like sports and we like a nice long chat. Women like to talk about life and men just like to live it. They don’t need to analyze their thoughts, social situations, and what their purpose is. They just live and that’s enough for them. I’m kinda jealous of their simplicity.
I still find myself getting annoyed when Sean isn’t in the mood to talk about EVERYTHING. I forget he’s a MAN, not a woman, and ultimately I prefer it that way.
We just need to learn to tone it down a bit and save the loooooong talks for our gal pals. If you don’t have girl friends to talk to then call your mom or your sister, or just get out in public. It’s surprisingly easy to find another women to talk to. I do it all the time when I’m at the park with my kids. It’s awesome!
One of the reasons I created the Wannabe Balanced Event is to bring like minded women together for that girl time we all need and crave. To make new friends and build long lasting frienships.
2~ Stop bringing up old fights.
This one is actually REALLY tough for me, and maybe most women. We don’t let go of things very easily do we? Even though Sean has apologized for things he’s said or done in the past, I find myself repeatedly bringing up old stuff. This definitely doesn’t improve your relationship with your husband. “We can’t move forward looking backward”. We gotta let it goooooo, let it gooooooo.
3~ Stop trying to be right.
We have had many disagreements over the years. And how can we not? We are two different people, with two different backgrounds, personalities, opinions, and not to mention body parts. I’ve learned that it’s more important to keep the peace in our home than it is to force my opinion on Sean. Some things we need to agree to disagree on.
Focus more on the things you DO agree on. We need to remember the things that brought us together in the beginning. Funny how when we’re first dating, we so easily see the good in one another and the things we have in common. Then somehow as the years go on, we get a little too comfortable noticing and voicing the things we do NOT like about each other, which then leads to the urge to change one another.
We will have disagreements in marriage, we just need to learn how to agree to disagree. We need to try to see things through their point of view. Refrain from anger and harsh words.
What are some of your tips to improve your relationship with your husband? I would love to hear them!
Wanna know about the time I unfriended my husband on Facebook? Check out our YouTube video.
Totally agree! Along with not bring up the past…I read it in Jen Hatmakers book For The Love not to collect retaliation rocks…I realize I did that without realizing it…then one day you dump all those retaliation rocks to prove your point…guilty of doing that without even realizing I was doing it.
OH that’s such a great way of describing it. Love that. Thanks Candace. I’m totally guilty of it. It’s so hard right, haha.
Great article, I hope to be more compassionate toward my husband, sometimes I am so busy with kids, I put my hubby last. Well he is an adult and can handle it. But this seems unbalanced. So I hope to become more aware of his needs. I am also so tired all the time. This means giving some attention to my time and space needs. Not an easy task in a large family. Lol.
Thank you my friend. I know what you mean, life gets pretty busy with when you have kids. How many kids do you have?
When I’m feeling tired a lot I know that means I need to get out and have a break. Some of the things I do for a break is, get a babysitter and just go lay in bed and read. I take some time to write out how I’m feeling too, that really helps. Sometimes you just need a moment to relax without someone constantly needing you. Don’t be afraid to hand over your responsiblities once in a while. It’s good for you.
omg this is super sweet! so important to continue to improve relationships!
Thank you Laila!
I needed this!! I love the last one the best!! Seriously who cares if your right!!!
Exactly!!!
That second one… is my biggest and most current deal… granted you need to talk about the past in order to move on, learning when to let go is just as important as actually letting go.
I totally agree with you Tiialin.
I loved this! this is so useful to anyone! Such great advice!
Thank you Valentina!
This is such a great topic. Real life! these things happen! Thank you for sharing these amazing tips.. hard to follow but great to remind myself not do them xx
Sammy,
Oh you’re so welcome Sammy. And thank you for your comment.