Search Results for: validation

February 10, 2016 · in Inspiration· Monthly Challenge

The Importance of Validation

Validation. What is it? It’s getting feedback from others that “what I do and say matters to you or has helped you. You think of me. You acknowledge my accomplishments. You appreciate ME.”

It’s OKAY to need a little validation sometimes. We all want to be the kind of person that doesn’t NEED validation from others. As much as I believe our happiness and confidence should come from within, I also believe that it’s OKAY to need a little love, positive words of encouragement and acknowledgment from others sometimes. We need people, God made us that way and we should embrace it. We can’t be on this journey alone and still be our best.

Validation provides us with something amazing. It gives us energy, makes us happy, motivates us to keep going. We don’t have to wait around for others to give it to us though, we have the ability within ourselves to create that same kind of positive energy. Any validation from others is just icing on the cake. So when realizing this, we MUST do our best to provide validation for others and allow karma to take hold. The more we give, the more we receive. If we’re not getting the validation needed, then we must take it upon ourselves to provide it. Not desperately seek it out of others.

I’ve mentioned before that sometimes I get caught up in the comparison game. There are so many wonderful bloggers and authors out there and sometimes I feel so small compared to them. But God doesn’t want us to compare. He doesn’t want us to feel like we have to be a trail blazer at all times. Although there is already so much good content out there, I shouldn’t feel like I don’t have anything unique to add. What I need to remember is that although most everything I’m doing has been done before or said before, the difference is that it hasn’t been done by ME! It’s common messages paired with MY background and personality. That’s what makes it different. I have to remind myself of this regularly. Satan is good at what he does. Just when we think we have it all together and confident in our pursuits, he’s right there to say “you’re no good so just give it up already”.

It seems like every time I start feeling down about my blog and wanna just throw in the towel. Then is when I’ll receive a sweet reaffirming message from one of you telling me how much you’ve appreciated my blog, or how it’s inspired or motivated you in some way. Serving others is one of THE most fulfilling endeavors in this life.

So your messages give me that needed validation, proof that what I’m doing serves a greater purpose beyond myself. I also think it’s God’s way of keeping us from giving up on worthwhile endeavors. His hand is in all things and I’ve witnessed this time and time again. So thank you for being my supportive group of friends that keep me from giving up.

September 30, 2020 · in Podcast

Ep #97: When Others Judge Us

When I was 10 years old I had a traumatic experience that caused me to feel overwhelming SHAME. A year later I finally gained the courage to “confess” it to my bishop.

Growing up in the Mormon Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) I adapted this belief that my leaders, bishop, priesthood holders, elders, and prophets were the ones with the final say regarding my worthiness.

Now I see how this has contributed to my need for validation and approval from others. Instead of being grounded in my inner knowing, the truth about ME, I gave my power away and silenced the true me that KNOWS I’m enough, worthy, and pure, NO. MATTER. WHAT.

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April 14, 2017 · in Life of a Wannabe· Mom Stuff· motherhood

Mommy Me Time: Why Every Mom Needs A Girls Night Out!

Let’s face it, being a mom is non-stop and we rarely get some mommy me time, some time to do our own thing without someone constantly needing something from us, husbands too if yah know what I mean. It’s nice to step away from it all once in a while and have some mommy me time with a night to let loose, connect with other women, and laugh til it hurts.

Last week I got to enjoy a delicious dinner at Viva Chicken with some of my favorite gal pals. I rarely make the time to do this and after leaving that night I felt so refreshed and renewed. Sean and I make it a point to have weekly date nights, but I forget how important it is to schedule regular girls nights. Like I mentioned in my post on marriage a few weeks ago, you gotta have some girl friends because men just can’t keep up with our never ending desire to TALK.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’ ”

– C.S. Lewis

When I think about all the people who have taken part in who I am as a person, I realize just how much we NEED each other. We cannot be the best version of ourselves without the help and influence of others. We need their encouragement, advice, authentic stories, validation, love, support, and understanding.

Having some mommy me time away from the kids is good for the soul. Helps keep things in perspective, reminds us of our life as a whole, not just as a mom. It’s okay to have interests other than caring for our children. God never intended for us to be defined by just one role. We are mothers first and foremost, but we are also women who crave connection with adults, we want to share ourselves and our stories with like minded women. We want to uplift and be uplifted. We want to expand our minds, grow spiritually, be inspired, laugh uncontrollably, talk about our struggles, our dreams and our passions.

And of course it MUST be documented!!! Gotta take our selfies, and snap a few Insta Story vids.

All these pictures were captured by the amazing Paige Hurst.

And can I just tell you, Viva Chicken is seriously one of my favorite places to eat. If you watch my Insta Stories then you probably already know that. I eat there a lot. My favorite is their Stuffed Avocados.

Picture taken by Heart Take The Wheel

February 10, 2016 · in happiness· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe· Monthly Challenge· personal growth

February Challenge

14 Days of Loving Yourself

Thank you to my friend Heather who suggested that in honor of Valentines Day, we should focus on Self Love. I’m actually really excited about this and TOTALLY need to work on loving myself more.

To be completely honest, I lack confidence more than I’d like to admit. I struggle with self doubt due to the comparison game. I cannot seem to shake this one but determined to master it. I think most women can relate. One minute we’re feeling so confident and secure, then in walks a beautifully flawless women and suddenly you feel like the ugliest women in the room. This is what I do to myself in the blogging world.

February’s challenge couldn’t be more perfect for this time in my life. I want to love and appreciate my own unique gifts and talents. I want to be inspired by the success of others instead of allowing it to bring me down or make me feel inadequate. I wannabe CONFIDENT!

“You should never be the smartest person in the room. There’s always going to be somebody who’s smarter to learn from — and that’s a good thing.”

Jessica Alba

“Your piano teacher was right: practice does make perfect. “The best way to build confidence in a given area is to invest energy in it and work hard at it,” says Schwartz. Many people give up when they think they’re not good at a particular job or task, assuming the exertion is fruitless. But Schwartz argues that deliberate practice will almost always trump natural aptitude. If you are unsure about your ability to do something — speak in front of large audience, negotiate with a tough customer — start by trying out the skills in a safe setting. “Practice can be very useful, and is highly recommended because in addition to building confidence, it also tends to improve quality. Actually deliver the big presentation more than once before the due date. Do a dry run before opening a new store,” says Gruenfeld. Even people who are confident in their abilities can become more so with better preparation.”

-Amy Gallo

Do:

Practice regular positive self talk.
Say Exactly what you mean.
Stay away from negative people.
Let go of what you can’t control.
Be honest with yourself about what you know and what you still need to learn.
Practice doing things that aren’t always easy or comfortable.
Embrace failure! Failure IS success!
Stand tall and practice good posture.
Smile
Be grateful
Exercise

Don’t:

Worry about what other people think.
Be a people pleaser.
Speak badly about yourself.
Give up!
Be afraid to say “NO”.
Be afraid to say “YES”.
Focus on whether or not you have the ability, instead focus on the value you provide.
Hesitate to ask for validation if you need it. It’s OKAY to ask for honest feedback.
Be afraid to try new things.
Judge others, it’s a reflection of what you think about yourself.

Use the prompts below to participate in the challenge. Always use the hashtag #wannabeconfident so that we can connect with each other that way. If you have not done a Periscope before then be sure to introduce yourself and post your username in the Wannabe Balanced Facebook group.

1. Love Letter to Self (read daily)

Write a love letter to yourself. Be very detailed and write it as if God is saying these things to you. After all, God is the greatest source of love and we should be opening ourselves up to receive his love on a daily basis. So be sure to read this letter DAILY!

2. What are your Gifts and Talents? I want to hear what you know to be your God given gifts and talents.

3. Pamper Yourself, take a long bath with candles, give yourself a facial, manicure, pedicure, or go get a massage. Just do something that makes you feel good about yourself.

4. Go for a walk while saying positive affirmations. It’s always a good idea to be alone in nature and give yourself some positive self talk. Notice the beauty and thank God for all he has given you. Praise yourself for the challenges you’ve overcome, or the choices you’ve made that turned out to be a really good thing. Give yourself credit for a job well done and at the same time, thank God for guiding you and giving you the strength to endure.

5. Tell us about something you did that you’re really proud of.

6. Every time you look in the mirror today, give yourself a compliment.

7. Cultivate a morning routine that includes alone time with God. There’s nothing like the peace you find in the quiet hours of the morning. My day goes SO much better if I can wake up before the kids and have a little quiet time with God. I thank him for increasing my understanding and ask him to guide me as I go about my day.

8. What gives you purpose? What do you enjoy doing that gives you great satisfaction and fulfillment?

9. Exercise hard today! Push yourself extra hard to recieve the euphoric feeling that comes after a job well done.

10. Share a healthy habit you’d like to incorporate into your life. Could be something as simple as drinking an extra glass of water each day, or adding a new super food to your diet.

11. Enjoy the sunrise with positive affirmations. The sunrise is one of the most amazing things to witness. Most the time I’m too caught up in the book I’m reading, or my journaling that I don’t even look up to take it all in.

12. Share a recent “Tender Mercy”. What kinds of little miracles have you witnessed in your life within the last week? Are you noticing all that God is providing for you? A lot of times God answers prayers through the voice of another person.

13. Listen to happy music and dance. Oh how I love listening to music. It’s an instant pick me up. I’ve kind of created a ritual in my house. I love to turn the fire place on, light a candle, and play some music. It instantly lifts my spirit.

14. Happy Valentines Day!!!! Share a picture that best describes “LOVE”.

Please share this, heaven knows we ALL need it. Let’s help each other reach greater heights of confidence and self love.

December 23, 2009 · in Life of a Wannabe· Mom Stuff

Battle of The Poopy Diapers

How is it possible that such a little person, can produce so much POOP? I’m changing at least 4 or 5 poopy diapers a day. My daughter was much different and so predictable, once, maybe twice a day is all, and usually in the mornings. Of course she had the occasional blow out, that always happened at the most inopportune times. Like the time I decided to take her to a movie when she was 18 months old, which was a very bad idea to begin with. The second we sat down, I noticed this horrid smell. Of course, she happened to be sitting on my lap, I lifted her up and saw that it was coming out from all ends and had already soiled her entire outfit plus left a nice smear on my pants. I rushed her into the bathroom, carefully tried to remove the onesie without leaving traces of poop in her hair, and of course had little success. I frantically reached into the diaper bag while trying to hold her still, and of all days, no wet wipes, and no extra clothes. And to make matters worse, no paper towels in the bathroom, just one of those air dryers, ugh, I hate those things (although, I am trying to be more “Green”). Luckily a lady walked in at that moment, and I asked her to PLEASE HELP!!! She kindly ran and found me some paper towels. So I wetted those down and began the clean up. Thirty minutes later, I had Lily in a fresh diaper (I did have one of those, thank goodness), and wrapped her in a blanket. Talk about a disaster.

What is it about changing a poopy diaper, that sparks this uncontrollable desire to be recognized for it. I find that my husband and I are always competing when it comes to who has changed “the poopiest diaper ever”. For some reason we always explain to each other in great detail how bad it was… “the poop was every where, all the way up to his neck, I must have used at least a dozen wet wipes, oh man, that was seriously, the POOPIEST diaper ever”. I mean, really, why is this so? Like this adds some kind of validation, that, yes, we ARE amazing!!!! Tada, look what I did. There must be some sort of award for this? It’s like we can’t just change a dirty diaper without telling each other about it, I’ve tried to suppress the urge before, but it just comes, and all I really want is for my husband to say, “oh honey, you won. For this I will change all the poopy diapers as long as we have unpotty trained kids”. Oh yes, this is my goal.

Search Results for: validation

The Importance of Validation

Ep #97: When Others Judge Us

Mommy Me Time: Why Every Mom Needs A Girls Night Out!

February Challenge

Battle of The Poopy Diapers

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