I’ve been dealing with feelings of resentment lately, and it literally makes me ache inside, I just wanted to better learn to overcome resentment. I do NOT like this feeling. Over the weekend it came on really strong. It’s usually triggered by something someone says to me, the way they act towards me, or even something I see on social media. When this happens I usually begin searching for ways to overcome resentment. I start with a little googling, then sincere prayer,  and lots of study of the scriptures. I tend to get impatient though. When I’m dealing with negative emotions I just want it to go away as soon as possible, don’t we all? I pray that God will guide me to the right quote, or article that relates to exactly how I’m feeling with step by step instructions on HOW to overcome it, like it’s that simple. The answers don’t always come right away, we have to put in the time and effort before we can find relief.

Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed with the emotion that I just want distraction. Something to take my mind off of it. So this weekend as I’m wallowing in my resentment towards certain people, all I wanted to do was binge watch “Friends” on Netflix. I wanted to forget my complicated social situations and live vicariously through this made up group of friends that seem to have so much fun together. Everyone loves each other, they all care deeply for one another, nobody is getting left out and life is just GOOD.

So instead of using distraction, I knew I needed to keep my mind open and aware of receiving the answers I was praying for. So after an entire day of searching Youtube, Podcasts, and blog posts, I was able to find some resources that actually helped me.

Why do we feel resentment?

*You didn’t get invited to the party.

*You don’t feel supported by friends or family members.

*You feel you’ve been taken advantage of.

*Frustrated that a friend chooses to be your competition instead of working together in business.

*Someone is spreading rumors about you.

*You are being left out, you’re not included in a group of friends, you see a picture on social media of your friends hanging out, and you’re not in it.

Get it all out…

This feeling is like an infection in the body. You need to get it out. So SAY what you’re feeling or thinking. Say it or write it. Just don’t say it TO anyone and be sure to rip up the paper and throw it away once you’re done. You can be as mean and vicious as you want cause nobody can hear it. The purpose is to remove the negativity, not hurt anyone. Our “knee jerk” reaction is to hurt someone back when they have hurt us, but this won’t solve anything.

Humility

Next step, write out your own weaknesses. It’s good to establish some humility in this kind of situation and not be the victim. Take responsibility for your own mistakes.  Recognize that you’re not perfect either. You may have done this very thing to someone else. Just simply recognize that we all have things we need to work on.

Mathew 7 

1Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Ignorance is Bliss

Now tell your brain what you want to hear. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. Create the perfect situation in your mind. Come up with an explanation for the person’s actions. What might have caused this person to do this? Have compassion towards them. Maybe the person that hurt you has legitimate issues that caused them to do what they did. There’s got to be a reason, and you can create what ever reason you want. The goal is to feel better and its okay to tell your mind what it wants to hear. Ignorance is bliss, and LaLa Land is beautiful. Tell yourself you’re amazing, and that it’s their loss for not wanting to work with you, or for not inviting you to the party. Tell yourself YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Now FORGIVE!

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I can honestly say that I feel MUCH better now. I put in the time and effort. God answered my prayers and led me to the right resources that helped me overcome these negative feelings.

 

Resources:

The Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity: “I’m Not Enough” by Marisa Peer

First steps to overcoming resentment