Ep #154: My Addiction to the "Sean Drug" | Codependency and Self Worth

I didn’t know I was codependent until about 2 years ago when Sean “Ferberized” me.

For most of our marriage Sean was my source of feeling good about myself. He always made me feel loved, cherished, sexy, safe, and valued.

I’d often say, “boy Sean, I wish I could just see myself through your eyes”.

It’s like pure ecstasy to be loved and seen by Sean. But the only problem was, I got addicted to the “Sean drug” and eventually became dependent on it.

He became my main source of feeling good about me, which as you can imagine is extremely exhausting for anyone to carry that kind of expectation and responsibility.

Sean got to a point in our marriage where he tired of me constantly needing him to fill my cup.

He knew that the only way we would get out of this unhealthy never ending cycle, was for him to allow me to “cry it out”.

So in a sense, I had to go through a detox period and experience all the withdrawals. The pain that comes when ever you’re trying to beat an addiction.

I had to learn to self soothe…

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