November 6, 2016 · in happiness· Life of a Wannabe· Marriage· personal growth· plan of happiness

Attitude of Gratitude

One of my favorite talks on this topic is by Dieter F. Uchtdorf called Grateful in Any Circumstances. He breaks down how to not only count our many blessings, but to be grateful IN our circumstance.

“When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.

This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.”

It’s about learning to be grateful even during the hard times. God gives us the commandment to express gratitude toward him in everything so that we might find peace and happiness. We learn to accept the trials and have faith that God’s plan is flawless and he knows what’s best for our ultimate eternal happiness.

We all know the negative feelings that come when things don’t go our way, when people hurt us. When life just seems to be unbearable. What we don’t realize is that our lack of gratitude is what keeps us heading down the dark path of despair. If we’re not mindful of our thoughts and allow the negativity to take over, it gets even harder to come out of it. It takes daily effort and contant prayer for us to focus on the good and create that abundance mentality. We’ve all heard the term, life is what we make it. We must not get lazy with our thoughts. Adapting an attitude of gratitude is the only way to true peace and happiness.

This even applies to marriage. Expressing gratitude more than expressing discontent or frustration is one way to maintain a happier marriage. We want to focus on all the good our spouse does, not the times he leaves his shoes and hats all over the house. I’m speaking to myself here.

So this month I’m going to really focus on creating an atmoshphere of gratitude in our home. I want to portray these important life lessons to my children through discussions and activities, starting with a gratitute tree. Each night at dinner we will try to talk about all the things that we’re grateful for that day. This will be a whole new blog post, so stay tuned for more pics on how we’re doing this.

Check out my YouTube video about how my faith was tested and I learned to trust in God’s plan for me (I shared this originally on Periscope, but uploaded it to YouTube, so it’s very casual, but very real and uncut). Be sure to subscribe to my channel for upadates on new videos I create.

October 30, 2016 · in happiness· Health· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe

3 Ways to Overcome Resentment

I’ve been dealing with feelings of resentment lately, and it literally makes me ache inside, I just wanted to better learn to overcome resentment. I do NOT like this feeling. Over the weekend it came on really strong. It’s usually triggered by something someone says to me, the way they act towards me, or even something I see on social media. When this happens I usually begin searching for ways to overcome resentment. I start with a little googling, then sincere prayer, and lots of study of the scriptures. I tend to get impatient though. When I’m dealing with negative emotions I just want it to go away as soon as possible, don’t we all? I pray that God will guide me to the right quote, or article that relates to exactly how I’m feeling with step by step instructions on HOW to overcome it, like it’s that simple. The answers don’t always come right away, we have to put in the time and effort before we can find relief.

Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed with the emotion that I just want distraction. Something to take my mind off of it. So this weekend as I’m wallowing in my resentment towards certain people, all I wanted to do was binge watch “Friends” on Netflix. I wanted to forget my complicated social situations and live vicariously through this made up group of friends that seem to have so much fun together. Everyone loves each other, they all care deeply for one another, nobody is getting left out and life is just GOOD.

So instead of using distraction, I knew I needed to keep my mind open and aware of receiving the answers I was praying for. So after an entire day of searching Youtube, Podcasts, and blog posts, I was able to find some resources that actually helped me.

Why do we feel resentment?

*You didn’t get invited to the party.

*You don’t feel supported by friends or family members.

*You feel you’ve been taken advantage of.

*Frustrated that a friend chooses to be your competition instead of working together in business.

*Someone is spreading rumors about you.

*You are being left out, you’re not included in a group of friends, you see a picture on social media of your friends hanging out, and you’re not in it.

Get it all out…

This feeling is like an infection in the body. You need to get it out. So SAY what you’re feeling or thinking. Say it or write it. Just don’t say it TO anyone and be sure to rip up the paper and throw it away once you’re done. You can be as mean and vicious as you want cause nobody can hear it. The purpose is to remove the negativity, not hurt anyone. Our “knee jerk” reaction is to hurt someone back when they have hurt us, but this won’t solve anything.

Humility

Next step, write out your own weaknesses. It’s good to establish some humility in this kind of situation and not be the victim. Take responsibility for your own mistakes. Recognize that you’re not perfect either. You may have done this very thing to someone else. Just simply recognize that we all have things we need to work on.

Mathew 7

1Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Ignorance is Bliss

Now tell your brain what you want to hear. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. Create the perfect situation in your mind. Come up with an explanation for the person’s actions. What might have caused this person to do this? Have compassion towards them. Maybe the person that hurt you has legitimate issues that caused them to do what they did. There’s got to be a reason, and you can create what ever reason you want. The goal is to feel better and its okay to tell your mind what it wants to hear. Ignorance is bliss, and LaLa Land is beautiful. Tell yourself you’re amazing, and that it’s their loss for not wanting to work with you, or for not inviting you to the party. Tell yourself YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Now FORGIVE!

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I can honestly say that I feel MUCH better now. I put in the time and effort. God answered my prayers and led me to the right resources that helped me overcome these negative feelings.

Resources:

The Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity: “I’m Not Enough” by Marisa Peer

First steps to overcoming resentment

February 10, 2016 · in happiness· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe· Monthly Challenge· personal growth

February Challenge

14 Days of Loving Yourself

Thank you to my friend Heather who suggested that in honor of Valentines Day, we should focus on Self Love. I’m actually really excited about this and TOTALLY need to work on loving myself more.

To be completely honest, I lack confidence more than I’d like to admit. I struggle with self doubt due to the comparison game. I cannot seem to shake this one but determined to master it. I think most women can relate. One minute we’re feeling so confident and secure, then in walks a beautifully flawless women and suddenly you feel like the ugliest women in the room. This is what I do to myself in the blogging world.

February’s challenge couldn’t be more perfect for this time in my life. I want to love and appreciate my own unique gifts and talents. I want to be inspired by the success of others instead of allowing it to bring me down or make me feel inadequate. I wannabe CONFIDENT!

“You should never be the smartest person in the room. There’s always going to be somebody who’s smarter to learn from — and that’s a good thing.”

Jessica Alba

“Your piano teacher was right: practice does make perfect. “The best way to build confidence in a given area is to invest energy in it and work hard at it,” says Schwartz. Many people give up when they think they’re not good at a particular job or task, assuming the exertion is fruitless. But Schwartz argues that deliberate practice will almost always trump natural aptitude. If you are unsure about your ability to do something — speak in front of large audience, negotiate with a tough customer — start by trying out the skills in a safe setting. “Practice can be very useful, and is highly recommended because in addition to building confidence, it also tends to improve quality. Actually deliver the big presentation more than once before the due date. Do a dry run before opening a new store,” says Gruenfeld. Even people who are confident in their abilities can become more so with better preparation.”

-Amy Gallo

Do:

Practice regular positive self talk.
Say Exactly what you mean.
Stay away from negative people.
Let go of what you can’t control.
Be honest with yourself about what you know and what you still need to learn.
Practice doing things that aren’t always easy or comfortable.
Embrace failure! Failure IS success!
Stand tall and practice good posture.
Smile
Be grateful
Exercise

Don’t:

Worry about what other people think.
Be a people pleaser.
Speak badly about yourself.
Give up!
Be afraid to say “NO”.
Be afraid to say “YES”.
Focus on whether or not you have the ability, instead focus on the value you provide.
Hesitate to ask for validation if you need it. It’s OKAY to ask for honest feedback.
Be afraid to try new things.
Judge others, it’s a reflection of what you think about yourself.

Use the prompts below to participate in the challenge. Always use the hashtag #wannabeconfident so that we can connect with each other that way. If you have not done a Periscope before then be sure to introduce yourself and post your username in the Wannabe Balanced Facebook group.

1. Love Letter to Self (read daily)

Write a love letter to yourself. Be very detailed and write it as if God is saying these things to you. After all, God is the greatest source of love and we should be opening ourselves up to receive his love on a daily basis. So be sure to read this letter DAILY!

2. What are your Gifts and Talents? I want to hear what you know to be your God given gifts and talents.

3. Pamper Yourself, take a long bath with candles, give yourself a facial, manicure, pedicure, or go get a massage. Just do something that makes you feel good about yourself.

4. Go for a walk while saying positive affirmations. It’s always a good idea to be alone in nature and give yourself some positive self talk. Notice the beauty and thank God for all he has given you. Praise yourself for the challenges you’ve overcome, or the choices you’ve made that turned out to be a really good thing. Give yourself credit for a job well done and at the same time, thank God for guiding you and giving you the strength to endure.

5. Tell us about something you did that you’re really proud of.

6. Every time you look in the mirror today, give yourself a compliment.

7. Cultivate a morning routine that includes alone time with God. There’s nothing like the peace you find in the quiet hours of the morning. My day goes SO much better if I can wake up before the kids and have a little quiet time with God. I thank him for increasing my understanding and ask him to guide me as I go about my day.

8. What gives you purpose? What do you enjoy doing that gives you great satisfaction and fulfillment?

9. Exercise hard today! Push yourself extra hard to recieve the euphoric feeling that comes after a job well done.

10. Share a healthy habit you’d like to incorporate into your life. Could be something as simple as drinking an extra glass of water each day, or adding a new super food to your diet.

11. Enjoy the sunrise with positive affirmations. The sunrise is one of the most amazing things to witness. Most the time I’m too caught up in the book I’m reading, or my journaling that I don’t even look up to take it all in.

12. Share a recent “Tender Mercy”. What kinds of little miracles have you witnessed in your life within the last week? Are you noticing all that God is providing for you? A lot of times God answers prayers through the voice of another person.

13. Listen to happy music and dance. Oh how I love listening to music. It’s an instant pick me up. I’ve kind of created a ritual in my house. I love to turn the fire place on, light a candle, and play some music. It instantly lifts my spirit.

14. Happy Valentines Day!!!! Share a picture that best describes “LOVE”.

Please share this, heaven knows we ALL need it. Let’s help each other reach greater heights of confidence and self love.

Attitude of Gratitude

3 Ways to Overcome Resentment

Why do we feel resentment?

Get it all out…

Humility

Ignorance is Bliss

Now FORGIVE!

Resources:

February Challenge

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