motherhood Archives - Wannabe Balanced Mom

June 1, 2018 · in balance· motherhood

4 Self-Care Tips for New Mothers

I once heard a friend describe the first month of new motherhood as much like being at the bottom of a deep well. Of course, this phase of life is amazing. You’re adapting to a completely new role, and your child is adapting to a whole new world! But it can also be scary, exhausting, and astoundingly isolating.

During this time, every minute is consumed with caring for your child. For the first time, you’ll experience what it means for someone else to literally depend on you for their survival from one moment to the next. But it’s important during this time to also take time out to care for yourself.

Listen to my Podcast Episode on Balancing Life As A Mom

Go Easy On Yourself

This is the first and most important thing that I wish I could share with more new mothers. If you thought, before you had your child, that people had a lot of opinions about what you should and should not do with your life, it’s nothing to what you get after you have a child. It seems that there are a million things that you could do wrong, somehow managing to completely ruin your child’s whole future! You’ll find people (who really have no say in the matter) telling you that bottle-feeding instead of breast-feeding will give your child lifelong psychological issues. Some will tell you that you need to pick up your child every time he or she whimpers, and others will say that your child needs to learn to self-soothe sooner rather than later.

Guess what: if you’re managing to keep your child alive and your sanity intact, you’re doing great! Sometimes, that’s enough. When you’re able to actually take a breath, then you can start thinking about getting the house clean, or making yourself healthy homemade meals.

This post has some great words of comfort about what’s expected of you these first moments.

Talk to Friends

Remember that visual of being at the bottom of a well? Part of that effect happens because you’re so consumed in your new role, that you neglect other aspects of your life and yourself that used to be important. It’s true that there are other things on your mind and in your heart right now, and if that means doing less things with your friends, then that’s okay. But all the same, remember that soon you’ll crave some adult, intelligent conversation. Feeling connected with friends, family, and loved ones outside of the intense, insular bond of mother and child will actually help you to keep your mood and energy up. Spend time talking things out with your partner, or just phone a friend in one of those 5-minute pockets that you can snatch for yourself. Feel free to unload your feelings, but keep yourself open to listening to others too. Remembering that there’s a world beyond the nursery can be amazingly refreshing.

Ask for Help

The isolation, and the burden of expectations to be a certain kind of mother, can lead us to keep certain concerns to ourselves. It’s important to remember that as much as it feels like it, you are not alone! Whether you’re stressed that your child is having health complications, or you’re experiencing postpartum depression, or that you’re just so tired that you want to tear out your hair… there’s help out there! Join a helpful mother’s forum online. Utilize a nurse’s health line to ask medical questions (most insurance services have this available.) And if you’re lucky enough to have friends, family, and a partner to help you out with this colossal task, ask them to help! It takes a village to raise a child, right?

Here’s some real talk from some of the funniest moms out there:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5TbKOTZcWY

Do Something for You

Now that your life is consumed with taking care of another, it can make you feel suddenly guilty just taking a few hours for yourself. Well stop! Stop those feelings of guilt. True self-care is also about being empowered to better serve others. Taking out some time to care for your health (snatching some more hours of sleep, or maybe getting a massage) is important. You’re a better mother when you’re able to do what you must to take care of your mental, spiritual, and physical wellbeing.

During these early days of parenthood, it might be wise to take some time to determine what coping techniques will help you deal with the stresses of this role. Set some habits of self-care like these ones. Determine those things that make you feel happy, and restored. It might feel scary to allow someone else to take care of your child for a few hours, but you’ll have to get used to it at some point, and for your own health, you might need to do so sooner rather than later.

May 24, 2018 · in motherhood

Dog Party w/ Milk Bone Birthday Party Treats

Our sweet little cat Zuri had her kittens 6 weeks ago and we thought it would be a fun idea to have our dogs celebrate the birthday of Zuri’s 4 babies by having a dog PAWty. Or in other words, baby kitten shower.

My kids were all on board with this idea of course, so we set the idea in motion. We gathered up the party supplies, searched Pinterest for inspiration and this is what we came up with. Posters, face painting, balloons, treats, and some good ol’fashion dancing. Check out our YouTube video HERE.

A big thank you to Milk Bone Birthday Party treats from Target for sponsoring this party. We got the limited time Happy Birthday tin full of an assortment of 5 delicious doggy treat flavors: bacon flavor, beef flavor, chicken flavor, sausage flavor, and turkey flavor. Right now you can save some bucks with these awesome cartwheel offers starting May 19th and going until June 2nd.

First we stopped over to Target to grab the yummy birthday party dog treats. Then we made simple signs with poster board. “Welcome Pawty Animals” and “Pawty Like a DogStart”. Check out the video we made of this awesome celebration, plus some clips from the actaul birth of Zuri’s kittens.

We made dog paw cupcakes using oreo cookies and milk duds.

Then we made cute little dog ears by simply cutting out dog ear shapes in some felt fabric and hot glueing them to some headbands. And off course no party is complete without party favors. So that’s whaty the “Doggy Bags” are.

Then of course I had to get the face paint because my kids absolutely love getting their faces painted.

P.S. Anyone wanting to adopt an adorable little kitty?

December 13, 2017 · in motherhood· Natural Childbirth

Birth Control | Trying to Conceive After Tubal Ligation Reversal

It was exactly a year after having my 4th child that I decided to get my tubes tied. I had been pregnant or nursing for 5 years straight. The pregnancy and child birth were still very much fresh in my mind. I was sleep deprived, overwhelmed and just flat out exhausted. I remember looking at my husband every day with resentment because he got to sleep at night while I was up every hour with a breast milk addict baby.

It was then that I realized, NO MORE… I couldn’t imagine doing this all over again. So I made the appointment to get the Tubal Ligation surgery. I was 100% positive that this was what I wanted to do. My husband Sean was fine either way. He understood that this was mostly my decision to make and supported me not matter what.

The day of the surgery I remember the nurse asking me again if I was sure this was what I wanted and explained that this procedure was permanent. I enthusiastically replied, #$%&* YES! I was excited about the idea of no birth control pills and IUD side effects to worry about and was ready to move into the next chapter of my life.

I day dreamed of the days when there would be no more diapers bags full of everything but the kitchen sink, strollers to lift in and out of my car, complicated car seats to strap my kids into. Nights where I would finally get to SLEEP, kids in school all day. Oh the life I would lead… There were so many things that this mama heart desired to do and felt caged by the many demands of motherhood.

The day after my surgery I had a slight panic attack. Reality set in and I suddenly realized I was officially DONE having babies. I found myself lying in bed bawling freakishly loud like a 2 year old. I was shocked that I felt such sadness and a tinge of regret about the decision I made.

As the days passed I got over it and moved on, or so I thought…

Two years later I found myself feeling deeply saddened over the fact that my baby was no longer a baby. He was now 3, potty trained, and becoming more independent each day. The only thing keeping me from having a complete melt down was the fact that I was still nursing him. I knew that I needed to wean him soon but couldn’t bring myself let go of the last piece of babyhood. I was going on a total of 7 years straight pregnant or nursing.

I started jokingly telling Sean that we should get my surgery reversed. We would both laugh it off and he would remind me of how hard the pregnancy and new born stage was for me. He remembered the pure disgust in my eyes staring at him as he awoke from a restful nights sleep, haha.

Although I was reminded of all the hard parts, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I began googling the reversal surgery and found myself getting a bit excited about the possibility. Then I presented it to Sean once again. This time he realized I was serious. So we had a good long talk about it and started exploring our options.

We set up two consultations just to get different opinions and find out as much about the procedure as possible. The first doctor looked at the operation report from my Tubal Ligation and explained that it wasn’t good. You see, there are different ways of getting your “tubes tied”. This was news to me, but I take full responsibility. I never imagined I would be in this situation in the first place, therefore I didn’t take the time to look into different ways to have this surgery done. I found out that my tubes were cauterized instead of clamped. This means that a good portion of my tubes were simply burned which makes it very difficult to re-attach them with so little to work with.

The first doctor recommended that I do In Vitro Fertilization because the chances of the Tubal Reversal being successful was very low, not to mention the surgery itself is pretty pricey and of course they don’t offer any kind of money back guarantee.

The second doctor said the same thing but she seemed to have a little more hope for the outcome of doing the reversal. She had only done a handful of surgeries that were similar to my case and she said that a couple of them were successful. I was very emotional at this point. In between sobs I was able to get the information I needed and left feeling extremely discouraged.

Together Sean and I decided that we did NOT want to go through the long and emotional process of doing In Vitro and would take our chances on the reversal surgery. (I documented portions of this whole process on YouTube and created a playlist if any of you would like to get a real life look into our journey.)

So I went into the surgery with high hopes, but still open to the fact that it may not work. As I was waking up from anesthesia, before I could even open my eyes I was mumbling, “did it work?”. The nurse explained that I would have to talk to the doctor to find out how the surgery went. The suspense was killing me and I kept pestering the nurse to give me some kind of answer. He had nothing… So then I began demanding for my husband as I’m suddenly feeling an intense amount of pain. The nurse gave me another dose of morphine and brought me out to Sean.

First thing I said to him was, “what did the doctor say?”. He wasn’t concerned with explaining the results to me just yet, he wanted to make sure I was okay as the nurse had notified him when I was crying in pain. He kept asking me how I was doing and I kept asking him to tell me what the doctor said. Finally he explained that the surgery was somewhat successful. Meaning I now had ONE working tube. Unfortunately the other tube was irreparable.

“One working tube?” I said. “So that’s good right, it’s possible to get pregnant with one tube right?”. He reassured me that it was very much possible and I broke down in tears of relief.

It’s now a few months post surgery and I’m feeling pretty good about everything at this point. I’m open to the fact that I still may not get pregnant, but also excited that maybe I will!

I wanted to share this story in hopes that it may give some of you mamas some answers. Making the decision whether or not to have more kids is one of the HARDEST decisions I’ve ever had to make. I never imagined it would be so difficult.

So for those of you in this same situation, trying to decide on a good birth control option, I would highly recommend finding something that is NOT so permanent. As much as you might think you’re absolutely sure you’re done having babies, you will be extremely surprised with how things change after a couple years. It’s hard to make those kinds of decisions when you’re right in the thick of postpartum life, nothing is clear.

In the beginning of my motherhood journey I never thought I’d be wishing for it to slow down. I dreamt of the days my kids would grow up and I would finally have time to myself again.

Now that my kids ARE growing up I’m finding myself deeply saddened over it. I thought I would be feeling as though my LIFE was about to begin. Instead I’m feeling like my life is ending. My kids ARE my life. Being a mom is what gives me purpose and inspires me to be better, to reach my full potential, to teach what I know, and to record my life (hence my blog and YouTube) in hopes it will be a strength to them and my posterity. .

July 11, 2017 · in Activities For Kids· balance· happiness· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe· motherhood

Cherish the Moments ~ Being More Present as a Mother

Motherhood is overwhelming. And although it can be the most fulfilling and joyful job in the world, it’s hard to remember that when dinner burns on the stove because you were cleaning up yet another diaper blowout and moderating an argument between two bickering siblings. The days feel like they never let up. But eventually we notice that our baby has grown out of toddler clothes and we wonder where all the time has gone.

Every mother has her own style and her own approach to parenting. However, it’s important to take time to appreciate the small moments of motherhood and be grateful for what we have instead of berating ourselves for what we lack. This can help us to think clearer, reduce stress, and create a more nurturing environment for our family. Does that sounds like too tall of an order? Well, here are a few ways that we can try practicing gratitude in motherhood, and appreciate the precious and limited time we have with our children while they’re still little.

Take Easy Family Trips

A full family vacation might feel like more than you can handle with the whole family. However, a small day trip with the children is never really out of reach. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal! In fact, it’ll be easier on you if it’s close by. Take the kids to a new park, to an event at the library, on a small hike, or out to see an interesting landmark or historical site in your area.

Sometimes it takes getting out of the house and out of our normal routines to really focus on each other. Taking opportunities like these create great memories for both you and your children.

Unplug

We spend a lot of time blaming the rising generation for their dependence on technology, but we forget that our children learn their behavior from us. How often are you distracted from your children because you’re browsing social media, or having 5 texting conversations at once? That’s why I put together the #WannabeHandsFree summer challenge. It’s not too late to join me on this challenge. See all the details in the blog post and YouTube video. Plus, I’m giving away a Jujube bag at the end of the summer to one lucky participant. Enter HERE!

Counter this by making more of a distinction between tech time and family time. When you’re doing an activity with your children, put your phone away.

Momma Time

This is one of my kids favorite things. At bedtime, one of the kids get special momma time, while the other kids went to sleep. Each child gets their turn of completely undivided time with mom, telling stories, reading, watching a movie together, or just chatting about life.

Mother/Child Dates

Similar to the principle of momma time, set aside time now and then for a “date” with one of your children. Hire a sitter or get your spouse to watch the other kids and spend time just having fun away from the house with your child. This can be especially fun as your child gets older, between ages 8 and 13.

Turn Off the Car Radio

Why is it that some of the most important discussions with your children happen in the car? I believe that it’s something that you should embrace. It can be frustrating when arguments or important discussions arise when you’re trying to focus on road safety, but you can enable them instead of snuffing them out when you decide to use car time to focus on your children. Instead of talking on the phone, or listening to the radio, listen to your child and whatever it is that they want to talk about.

Step Away

That’s right, one of the best ways to enjoy time with your children is to have less of it. Not always, just sometimes. If you’ve hit that point of burnout where you struggle to find patience and appreciation for your job as a mother, maybe it’s time for a bit of a break!

This can be as minor as assigning one child responsibility over the others (or telling your spouse he’s in charge) while you take some time alone in another room to meditate, do yoga, paint, read, or do something else that you know helps you feel restored. On the other hand, it might be something bigger, like hiring a sitter while you go on a trip with your girlfriends or your spouse. Needing to get away now and then doesn’t make you a bad mom; it makes you human. You’ll be a better mother for the time away.

Make Eye Contact and Listen

How many times a day does your child call out for your attention? How often do you have them trailing you around, tugging on your clothes, as you try to accomplish something yourself? Well, make a decision here and now that you will never be divided and half-hearted in your interactions with your children. Instead, put down what you’re doing, make eye contact with your child and converse with focus. If, on the other hand, it’s not time for you to be concentrating on them, be very clear that now is not the time for you to answer their endless “why”s.

Have Daily Rituals

Do you have a daily ritual with your children? Often, these moments hover around bedtime, mealtimes, or in the mornings. It might be the time you spend helping your child brush his or her teeth, reading bedtime stories, or asking the same question every night around the dinner table. In any case, daily rituals help the whole family re-center on each other, and it can be a wonderful time that your child ends up looking forward to each day.

May 18, 2017 · in Life of a Wannabe· Mom Stuff· motherhood

You Are Supermom with Mom Time Delivered!

You hit the ground running at 5am and are nonstop until bedtime. You feed your family, do laundry, work, clean, shop, chauffeur, pay bills, attend recital, make science projects out of styrofoam and toothpicks, and more (SO.MUCH.MORE!).

You are Supermom! But even Supermoms need TLC…And no, we don’t mean zoning out to The Learning Channel!!

Enter: Mom Time Delivered—A subscription box for busy moms everywhere. Give yourself or the Supermom in your life the gift of monthly hand-picked goodies to help truly take care of the mind, body and whole Mama.

Mom Time Delivered gives you back your “me” time…One box at a time!

Use Promo Code: BALANCED for $10 off first order.

You Are Supermom with Mom Time Delivered! by Mommy blogger Crystal of Wannabe Balanced Mom

I recently wrote about The Time I Tried to be the Perfect Mom. It was a time when I forgot how important it was to take time for myself. It took me a while to realize what was happening. I couldn’t figure out why I was constantly yelling at my kids and feeling completely overwhelmed ALL the time. Check out my free morning mom time printable if you’re needing a little help finding that balance.

You Are Supermom with Mom Time Delivered! by Mommy blogger Crystal of Wannabe Balanced Mom

I think it’s such a fun idea to get something different each month. I’m going to pour myself a glass of Kombucha, run a bath and use my new bath bombs. Light my swiss candle, give myself a facial with this peppermint sugar scrub and snack on my new treat! Doesn’t that just sound heavenly?

You Are Supermom with Mom Time Delivered! by Mommy blogger Crystal of Wannabe Balanced Mom

I’m just so excited about this idea! Such a fun way for us moms to treat ourselves!

You Are Supermom with Mom Time Delivered! by Mommy blogger Crystal of Wannabe Balanced Mom

May 5, 2017 · in happiness· homeschooling· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe· motherhood

Navigating Peer Pressure as an Adult

You’d think that peer pressure was something that affects only teens and college age adults, but surprisingly, even us 30 something year old women experience peer pressure as well. As moms, for example, we might feel pressured to work late into the night finishing our never ending “to do” list so we can keep up with the Pinterest perfect lifestyle. Maybe you even feel pressured to do things like have all your family photos perfectly organized and printed out into books, have your house neat and tidy ALL the time, or have healthy balanced meals prepared every single day.

These are a few examples of the peer pressures I put on myself. Peer pressure can push you to do things that undermine your physical health, that threaten your mental health, or that take you away from the things that you should be pursuing. Here is a look at some key things to remember as you navigate peer pressure and comparison with others as an adult.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Social media can be a major source of peer pressure for adults. We often compare our lives to those of the people we know, and this can lead us to experience all kinds of peer pressure—pressure to be a successful momprenuer, pressure to travel more, pressure to have more kids, etc. But remember: comparison is the thief of joy. As long as you are following your own passions and living a life that offers fulfillment for you, there is no need to compare yourself to others. Doing so will only rob you of joy that you could be experiencing in the here and now.

You can live your own life without ruffling any feathers (for the most part).

Sometimes in making our own career, education, motherhood decisions, and other life choices, we feel this need to please other people in the back of our minds. You might, for example, choose to adopt a particular set of beliefs around how to educate your children and then constantly feel as though you are on the defensive any time the topic of education comes up. Or, you a might be following a Nutritional Cleansing Program and feel as though you need to justify it to other people any time you are hanging out with others. At these times, it’s important to remember that people are probably going to be more respectful of your personal decisions than you expect them to be. So rather than putting yourself on the defensive about your life decisions, choose to live your life with confidence. As long as you are not self-righteous or pretentious about your way of life, people will generally respect you and your lifestyle (at least for the most part).

Know how (and when) to stand up for yourself.

Even if you are someone who tends to live their own lifestyle without ruffling any feathers, you are going to meet people who question the way you live and who make you feel as though your way of living is inferior to theirs. In these situations, it’s important to know how to stand up for yourself. This article about navigating sobriety in social situations, for example, lists a number of ways that you can stand up for your decision not to drink at a party. You might choose to keep friends who understand your decision close by, for example, or you might have a response prepared beforehand, like “I’m doing it for my health.”

It isn’t always appropriate or advisable to stand up for yourself in situations where you experience negative peer pressure regarding your lifestyle. Sometimes, it may be better to simply leave the situation to avoid confrontation. Some people simply cannot be reasoned with, and in these situations you may simply have to “turn the other cheek,” so to speak.

There are positive forms of peer pressure.
Not all forms of peer pressure are inherently bad. Maybe you and your circle of friends are used to living a rather sedentary lifestyle, for example, but your circle of friends has recently developed an interest in fitness and working out. You may feel pressured to start working out yourself even though you would rather not. Yes, this is a form of peer pressure, but you can channel that pressure into a healthy desire to become more physically fit. Some other examples of positive peer pressure include pressure to go back to school, pressure to quit smoking, and pressure to seek a healthy, lasting relationship. This type of peer pressure should never make you feel negatively toward yourself, but instead it should help you reevaluate the decisions you are making for your own life as needed. And when you “give in” to these positive forms of peer pressure, you can rest assured that you will have a support system waiting to help you along the way.

Pictures taken by Hearttakethewheel.com

4 Self-Care Tips for New Mothers

Dog Party w/ Milk Bone Birthday Party Treats

Birth Control | Trying to Conceive After Tubal Ligation Reversal

Cherish the Moments ~ Being More Present as a Mother

Take Easy Family Trips

Unplug

Momma Time

Mother/Child Dates

Turn Off the Car Radio

Step Away

Make Eye Contact and Listen

Have Daily Rituals

You Are Supermom with Mom Time Delivered!

Navigating Peer Pressure as an Adult

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