My Thoughts and Feelings Archives - Page 3 of 4

July 28, 2010 · in Life of a Wannabe· My Thoughts and Feelings

NOW FOR MY VERSION OF THE STORY!

Read Sean’s version HERE.
As some of you already know, Sean and I both graduated from high school in 99, and we both went to Butler Middle school. The crazy thing is that I went there for 7th and 8th grade, and he went there for 9th grade. We barely missed each other! I met my best friend Brenda in 8th grade, and her and I stayed in touch after I moved. She would always tell me about the new guy in school, “Sean Escobar”. He was pretty popular among the ladies 🙂 So, that name was very familiar to me. Yes, Sean and I met briefly a couple of times but never really hung out back then. I thought he was so good looking though, and WISHED I could get to know him a little better if you know what I mean 🙂

So, I guess I don’t really count those times back then as being the first time we met. It wasn’t until that night at his house that we REALLY met for the first time. I had been home from my mission for 5 months. I was dating a lot, it was fun at first, but then I got tired of it really fast. I just wanted to meet my husband. I was sick of it all.

Just two nights before I met Sean, I remember praying my heart out to God, and pleading with him that he’d lead me to my husband. I was so ready to find him, get married and start a family. I even wrote about it in my journal, so it’s so cool to look back and see how my prayers were answered.

Like Sean said, our mutual friend Brenda was in town. I was hanging out with her and these other girls in the picture below. We went out to eat at Bonzi, which has now become mine and Sean’s favorite place to eat. Every time we go there I’m reminded of the night we met.

Here is a picture we took of that night.

So anyway, after we ate there, we went and stopped by Sean’s house. I knew who he was, but I didn’t know if he would remember who I was. I instantly had an attraction to him, but didn’t think much of it since he was on a date 🙂 I thought this girl was his girl friend. So we were all hanging out for a bit, his date left, he was going to meet back up with her later. Sean and I talked about our mutual interest in Network Marketing, he was trying to get me in his business, I was trying to get him in my business, haha. We always joke about that now, but anyway, we exchanged numbers for “business purposes” 🙂

I still have the piece of paper he wrote his number on.

The next day Sean called me and asked me out on a date. I was excited, but not too excited. I thought he was just a player since I knew he was already dating this other girl. A few days later I was all ready for our date. Sean picked me up, we walked to his truck, and he opened my car door for me! Those kinds of things are such a big deal to me. I had dated so many guys who never thought to do that, and I was always so disappointed. Sean was definitely earning some brownie points there 🙂 As we were driving, Sean’s dad called and needed him to stop by for something. So since we were right there, we stopped by his parents house. I got to “meet the parents” on our first date! They were really nice, we visited with them for a while, then left. By that time it was getting kind of late, too late to go to any restaurants or movies. So we went to the Wendy’s drive through then back to his place to watch a movie. We had a great time! I hate to admit this… but we KISSED on the first date!

When Sean dropped me off that night I wasn’t planning on seeing him again. I still thought he was just a typical guy, not ever taking relationships very seriously.

The next day I get a knock at my door, and there he was holding a huge bouquet of flowers.

*sigh*

It was all over from there. At that point there was no turning back, I was head over heels for him. I know! Sounds crazy, but it was literally 2 dates later and we were talking marriage. Wow! I still can’t believe it. I will always remember our conversation that night, I have it all written down in my journal, practically word for word. I’ll spare you the details on that, it’s probably WAY to mushy for you, but for me, it was absolutely PERFECT!!!

We thought it would be wise if we waited a while before breaking the news to everyone. We knew what people were going to think, so we kept it to ourselves for as long as possible… A WEEK! Yes, everyone thought we were nuts, but Sean and I had no doubt that we were perfect for each other. We instantly started making wedding plans.

We met April 23rd, and 3 months later, July 31st got married. Everything about Sean is just perfect for me. Now that we’re coming up on 6 years together, I’m reminded of these precious memories and how meant to be it all is.

I’ve shared these videos before, but for those of you who are new here, you might like to take a peak.

July 26, 2010 · in Life of a Wannabe· My Thoughts and Feelings

THE STORY OF US

This weekend Sean and I are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary, so I thought this would be the perfect time to share our story, hope it doesn’t get too mushy for you 🙂 I asked Sean to kick it off for me by telling you all about the first time we met. It was so fun for me to read what he wrote and go back in time a little and reminisce about the beginning stages of our relationship.

Here’s what he wrote:

I remember the first time I met Crystal was actually my Sophomore year of High school. I was hanging out with Brenda and a few of our mutual friends and we stopped by Brenda’s house for something. This beautiful girl was headed out the door with a guy. I remember thinking, “oh man, that girl is so hot! Too bad she’s headed out with some lucky guy.” I know that sounds pretty shallow, but keep in mind I was 16 at the time. Brenda briefly introduced us to her best friend from another school named Crystal, but Crystal seemed to be in a hurry so I didn’t get to know her then. I never forgot her face though, its like it was permanently imprinted in my mind. I hoped that at some point in the near future I would bump into her again. That opportunity never really came. I know I probably could have asked Brenda to set me up or something, but I actually remember her heading out that night with an older guy and thinking, “probably out of my league.”

Fast forward 7 years. I had been home from my Mission to Virginia for about 2.5 years. I was dating up a storm, keeping my options open, trying to be picky and making sure I knew exactly what I want in a spouse. I was burned out truthfully. The dating scene seemed brutal, not many girls really fit what I was looking for. I wanted a girl that was drop dead gorgeous, but was also down to earth and spiritual. I know I was asking a lot. That combination seemed to be scarce as I was playing the dating game. I went on soooooo many first dates. I figured why would I go out with them again and waste their time and mine if the spark isn’t there, or if I sense something is off. I’m not so conceded that I think I was the perfect match for anybody either. I know that many of those girls probably never wanted to go out with me again either, that’s the dating game.

So I believe it was April 23^rd, 2004. I was on a date with a girl that one of my best friends set me up with. I had been out with this girl once before and didn’t see it going anywhere, but my friend convinced me to just hang out because I wasn’t doing anything else. So we were at my house when my phone rings. I answer it and it’s my old friend way back from 9^th grade, Brenda Drollinger. She said that she was in town from San Diego and wanted to drop by and say hello with her girlfriends. I asked, “who is with you?” She said Erica, Jana, and Crystal. Well, when she said Crystal, for some reason I had it in my head that it was our mutual friend Chantelle, so I figured I knew all 3 of her friends coming over and was excited to reconnect since I hadn’t seen them since High School. I can’t imagine what my date at the time was thinking! Lol She’s probably thinking, “what a jerk, I can’t believe he just told them to come over.” Like I said, I never saw that going anywhere, just being honest. After about 15 minutes the doorbell rings and I welcome my 4 friends. There is just one thing off, Chantelle is not the 4^th girl to enter my house, it’s that girl that I remember being all ga ga for way back in Sophomore year of high school. I was like “Oh Yea!!!!!” So we visited at my house for a while and I discover that Crystal is single, that Crystal is working in my industry of Network Marketing, that Crystal is a Return Missionary. In fact I do remember Brenda saying that Crystal just got home from a Mission to Germany and my response was, “You were a Missionary!!!!” All of the girls erupted in laughter because I was so shocked and of course they could tell how much I admired that. So were are all visiting for about 30 minutes and my best friend and his date and my date decide they have seen enough! Lol They said to me, “hey we’re gonna go over to Niki’s place and you can just pop over there when you are done here ok. “ I was like, “you bet, by all means!” We all visited for a while longer and then Brenda and the girls said they had to take off. As they were walking out of my driveway to take off, I wanted to make sure that this wasn’t going to be the last time I was going see my dream girl for another 7 years! So I asked Crystal for her # and she gave it to me. When they drove off, I felt like I had just won the lottery! I was so glad that I had taken Brenda’s call, what if I hadn’t! I also had a very amazing feeling, like I knew that God had just sent Crystal to my doorstep. See, finding my eternal companion was my #1 priority. I made it the highlight of every one of my prayers. I was trying to live a very honorable life so that when I met my soul mate she would also be attracted to me and I would be worthy of such a blessing. I remember feeling this sense of “well that is how it was supposed to work out.” I know it sounds far fetched, but I knew I was going to Marry that girl. In fact, that night I called my friend Garrett, the one that had set me up on that date and I said something like, “Dude, could you believe Crystal?” and his response was “I know! You are going to marry that girl.” and then I countered, “I know, I knew it right away too!”

Sure enough, it was meant to be. Within a matter of 3 dates or so Crystal and I were talking about our future plans to get married, it felt so right, more right that anything I had ever done in my life, felt so natural. I often think about how funny it must be for our mutual friend Brenda to think, “How did that happen, I really didn’t mean to set those two up. “ lol Well I think she is really lucky, I can’t think of anything better than to set two people up and have them fall in love and be as perfect for each other and make each other so happy as Crystal and I do. I really hope to do that someday, to play a role in a relationship like that.

What Can I say other than I am so grateful that God is in charge and listens to prayers. I am so happy and can’t imagine my life without Crystal in it. Now we have these unbelievable children together and it just really sends things over the top for me. It’s like every day I am reminded in some way that God did me this huge huge favor. I look in the eyes of Lily and Oliver and I know today, just like I did the day that we met, that it was meant to be.

-Sean

Aw, he makes me melt like a popsicle on the 4th or July 🙂 Stay tuned for my version of the story, and some pictures.

July 19, 2010 · in Life of a Wannabe· My Thoughts and Feelings

Life is Fragile

Most of you may already know about the tragic accident that happened last week ( I posted a little about it on my facebook page). Someone I knew and went to school with, Bunny Watson Bradley was hit by a car while riding her bike with a group of cyclists. She was life flighted to the hospital with severe injuries and was put on life support. Early the next morning she passed away.

I met Bunny back in junior high. I always remembered her as a fun, happy person. I didn’t know her very well, we hung out a few times back in junior high and high school, and I last saw her at our 10 year high school reunion a year ago. She looked as beautiful and happy as ever. My heart goes out to the entire family, especially her two little girls she left behind.

I found a few pictures of her back in the day, so I decided to put together a little tribute which includes a news clip of the incident.

The accident actually happened just above our home. The other night my husband and I drove up to the spot to see where her loved ones left flowers, posters, pictures, ect. I was overwhelmed with feelings of sympathy for her poor husband and children. I can only imagine what they are going through right now.

Here are a couple pictures from her friend Becky’s blog called All That I Love. They were able to honor Bunny’s life by riding a silent lap with the tour de donut in American Fork.

“29 balloons let go for a life cut too short. Let go by those that were with her at the time of the accident. Oh, i miss her.”

– Becky Kimball

It’s things like this that make you appreciate EVERYTHING so much more. I’m reminded of how fragile life really is. It made me think more about how I’m living my life each day. Am I trying hard to make each day count? Do I make sure my husband and kids know just how much I love and appreciate them? We never know when our day is going to come, all we can do is be prepared for when it does.

I love this song by Tim McGraw, Live Like You Were Dying

“I was in my early forties,

“With a lot of life before me,

“An’ a moment came that stopped me on a dime.

“I spent most of the next days,

“Looking at the x-rays,

“An’ talking ’bout the options an’ talkin’ ‘bout sweet time.”

I asked him when it sank in,

That this might really be the real end?

How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?

Man whatcha do?

An’ he said: “I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

“And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

“And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”

An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,

“To live like you were dyin’.”

He said “I was finally the husband,

“That most the time I wasn’t.

“An’ I became a friend a friend would like to have.

“And all of a sudden goin’ fishin’,

“Wasn’t such an imposition,

“And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.

“Well, I finally read the Good Book,

“And I took a good long hard look,

“At what I’d do if I could do it all again,

“And then:

“I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

“And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

“And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”

An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,

“To live like you were dyin’.”

Like tomorrow was a gift,

And you got eternity,

To think about what you’d do with it.

An’ what did you do with it?

An’ what can I do with it?

An’ what would I do with it?

July 13, 2010 · in Life of a Wannabe· My Thoughts and Feelings

A Lesson Learned

You would not believe what I’ve been through today. It all started last night when I noticed my computer was acting up. It suddenly just stopped working, I tried to restart it, but then it wouldn’t even turn back on. I started freaking out, but I didn’t even realize at the moment the extent of what just happened. I was about to learn a very hard lesson.

After trying to figure out the problem on my own which consists of about 2 seconds, I turned it over to my husband like I usually do. He tried and couldn’t get it to work either. Thats when I knew something was REALLY wrong. “Sorry Crystal, but your computer crashed.”

Um, WHAT!!! Ha, no, thats not possible, it’s only 3 years old and it’s a Mac. Aren’t Mac’s supposed to be the best?

I was trying hard NOT to believe him and began thinking of the last time I had backed up my computer. Thats when the anxiety began rushing through every vain in my body. I realized I hadn’t backed it up in well over a year. Bits and pieces of all the information I had possibly lost starting flashing through my mind. Pictures, home videos, projects, folders, emails…. THE BIRTH OF MY SON!!!! No no no no, this can’t be happening! How could I let this happen? I was so upset and even cried before I fell asleep at the thought of losing all my precious memories I had worked so hard to capture.

I woke up the next morning feeling sick to my stomach. My whole life had been turned up side down. You may think I’m being a little overly dramatic, but I honestly could not live without my computer.

The first thing I did was went down to the Mac store in hopes that they would be able to recover all the information. I dropped it off for them to look at and anxiously waited for their call. I literally could not function, It was like I was paralyzed. Finally after a long 3 hours passed, I received the phone call. “Sorry, we were NOT able to retrieve any of the information, but you can call this other company and they may be able to help you.” Okay, so I called the other company in tears. She said they have a 96% success rate and she was pretty positive she’d be able to recover the information from the hard drive. Yay!!!!!! Just as I was about to take a huge sigh of relief she said, it will cost anywhere from $700- $2,700… WHAT!!!! Are you serious!!!! Then I cried some more.

Okay, now I have a question for you. Would you put a price on your memories? How much would YOU be willing to spend to retrieve lost memories?

This experience caused me to really think. All of this could have easily been prevented if I would have just taken the necessary precautions. A new hard drive only costs around $100, and backing up my computer only takes a few minutes each day. It’s been a hard lesson to learn but I can see how this applies to many different situations in life.

Sometimes we get lazy and think, oh that won’t happen to me…

and then it does.

July 9, 2010 · in FAB Fridays· Inspiration· Isagenix· Life of a Wannabe· My Thoughts and Feelings

Worlds Sexiest 30 Year Old!

picture taken by carrieshinphotography.blogspot.com

This weekend we are celebrating my husbands 30th birthday! I’m so excited because I have a thing for older men and always wanted to make out with a 30 year old. Yah baby, all my dreams are about to come true 🙂
So today I’m featuring my wonderful husband, we’re not going to call it FAB Friday though 🙂 It’s a little too feminine for my strong, sports lovin, manly man.
I have so many things to say about this guy I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, the story of how we met is coming soon. We’re celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary the end of this month and I plan to share the interesting, yet amazing story of how we ended up together.

I want to start out by sharing a little something that he wrote recently. I stole this from his weekly newsletter he sends out to all the top leaders in our company. I really liked it because he shares part of his bucket list, also mentioning some things he hoped to accomplish before he hit 30. He is such an inspiration to me, you’ll see what I mean.

Got Dreams? Better put them in Writing!
-Sean Escobar

Did you know that the single act of writing your goals down increases the chances of achieving them by 1100%? Amazing, isn’t it! You can increase your chances of reaching your goals by 11 times just by writing them down.

I remember fondly a day when my dad took out a red marker and wrote on my hand the number “50” It was August then and he said, I want you to be at 50 cycles (higher ranking in our company) by Christmas, for some reason he likes to say “by Christmas.” 🙂 Anyways, I nodded, didn’t really need to say anything, I knew it would take an incredible commitment to pull that off. Would you believe that by Christmas that year Crystal and I had broken 100 cycles a week!

When I first got involved in Isagenix I remember Dad always instructing people to write down their goals in RED. I actually still have the pad where I wrote them down from years ago. It has become quite special to me.

Here are some of the goals I wrote down in no particular order and whether or not they have been fulfilled since:

-Have the Ability to Retire by the age of 30 – Fulfilled, I turn 30 this weekend

-Meet my dream girl and get married – Fulfilled!

-Have all the time in the world for my children – Fullfilled!

-Hit a Hole In One – Not yet Fulfilled

-Invent Something – I have a couple things in mind, top secret 🙂

-Write a book – Not Yet

-Max out our position in Isagenix – Fulfilled

-Find out what people’s dreams are – getting better at this all the time

-Build a big Garage with my office above it – Fulfilled

-Read Scriptures Everyday – Not Yet Fulfilled

-Make 100’s of millions of dollars – Not Yet Fulfilled 🙂

-Start a Charity for Single Mom’s – not yet

– Serve a Christian Mission with Crystal – Not Yet

Anyways, those are just a few of them, but you can see that some of my Big Aspirations HAVE been Fulfilled and Many of the Small ones that I’m not mentioning have been. It works. I have no doubt that ALL of my goals and dreams will come to fruition! By the Way, Have I mentioned how Grateful I am for Isagenix in my life?

Love Sean

Isn’t he amazing! I feel so lucky to be married to such a person. One of the things that attracted me the most to him in the beginning, was his obvious passion to better himself and achieve HUGE goals. I LOVE people who dream big, and he is one person who truly believes that he CAN accomplish what ever the heck he wants! I’ve seen him come so far in the last 6 years.
He is also the BEST dad ever! These little kids have him wrapped around their little fingers:) He spends so much quality time with them, never tires of playing with them. In fact, if he didn’t have to work, I guarantee he’d spend every second with them. He’s such a family man, I never doubt that we are THE most important thing to him.

Now don’t be alarmed, these are Sean’s hairy feet, and he doesn’t normally wear nail polish 🙂 Like I said, these kids have got him wrapped around their finger. He’ll do anything for them, even allowing Lily to paint his toe nails.

Yes, this is a picture of him doing Lily’s hair. How cute is that?

June 28, 2010 · in Life of a Wannabe· My Thoughts and Feelings

TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE

I’ve just learned the way to overcome writers block. All you have to do is, well, just be an emotional wreck which seems to happen about once a month for me… hmmm, very strange. So, anyway, I’m realizing that the drama queen emotional side of me is what kicks out my best blog posts. It’s all about pouring your heart out, and if being on my period is what drives my passion, then so be it. It’s about time I find something good about that time of month. I shall now embrace my womenhood more fully than ever.

Now if I could just get my husband to do the same… 🙂

There are two kinds of people. What I AM, and what I am NOT.

What I am NOT: I’m not the type of person that hides the way they’re feeling very well. I know that this can be a good thing, but also a bad thing. Sometimes it’s good not to share EVERYTHING, especially when it’s negative. Focusing your energy on the bad things is not going to make life any easier. Learning to find solutions can bring you closer to achieving your goals and overcoming your trials. I heard a quote once by Charles Malik, “A great leader suffers in a hundred different ways and keeps his suffering to himself.”
The bad side to always keeping things to yourself is, you’ll never allow others to know how you truly feel, and as a result may never have the opportunity of helping them. Sometimes it’s just nice to hear someone say, “oh yes, I’ve been there” or “I feel the SAME way”.

What I AM: I am the type of person that is VERY open and will share every detail about the way I’m feeling. Some people may not like this because they’d rather just hear the good. I like to vent, I feel so much better when I can just get my feelings out. And sometimes it’s not even venting, it’s just being honest about the way things are. Life can be hard, we all know that, but why not open up a little and allow others to relate and know that what they are feeling is normal and okay. I always appreciate it when people are open, it allows me to feel a little LESS crazy :). Writing and talking about your thoughts and feelings can bring clarity to problems, and perhaps helping you figure out what’s really bothering you.

Let me give you an example here, which happens to be from my mission once again. The reason why I refer to my mission so much is because I learned ALOT of important life lessons within that period of time. Okay so, I had a companion that was great in every way. She seemed to be perfect, everyone I ever met who knew her had nothing but good things to say about her. We got along great except I always felt like there was something wrong with me for struggling so much. I was tired, homesick, discouraged, overwhelmed, and just felt completely inadequate. So, when I tried telling her the way I was feeling, I noticed that she was getting annoyed with me. She then said something that I’ll never forget, “gosh, do you just hate your mission or something?”
I didn’t know what to say, but I do know that when she said that to me, it made me feel even worse. I thought, wow, I must be such a bad missionary if I’m having these feelings, especially since it was obvious she could not relate. In her opinion I was just dwelling on the negative and she was sick of hearing it. In my opinion, all I needed to hear was, “oh, I know it can be hard, I’ve felt the same way, but you’re doing great, it just takes some time, you can do this, I’ll help you, being so far away from home can be rough, and the language is overwhelming, but I promise, you’ll get it”.

So the moral of the story is, there are two kinds of people and sometimes those two people don’t always mesh well, but it doesn’t make either one of them wrong. Some people are great examples of living a positive life, and the others are good at opening up which can be helpful to those who are dealing with the same issues.

NOW FOR MY VERSION OF THE STORY!

THE STORY OF US

Life is Fragile

A Lesson Learned

Worlds Sexiest 30 Year Old!

TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE

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