Search Results for: better day

December 7, 2020 · in Marriage· personal growth

What’s in your Should Book?

We all have a “should book” believe it or not. It’s a mental book full of all the things we believe people should and should not do. How a husband should be, how a mother should be, how a teacher should be, ect.

What I’ve come to realize is that our should books are completely unique to each individual. Just as no two fingerprints are exactly alike, neither are should books. They are created from a combination of things. Past experiences, personality types, cultural environment, religious influence, and parental examples.

Expecting Others to Follow the Rules in our Should Book

We all have specific preferences and desires, and I believe it’s totally acceptable to make requests of others. The only problem is when we expect them to follow ALL of them.

Sure, sometimes we can affectively manipulate others in ways that get us what we want, but I think most of us can agree that any form of manipulation is not a fair way to play.

As long as our happiness depends on whether or not others follow our should book, then we will always be left feeling disappointed. We can’t control peoples behavior any more than we can control their thoughts.

Question Your Shoulds

It’s important to question your shoulds. Why do you have them? Where did they come from? Do you like your reasons for your shoulds?

Examples of things you might say are “good shoulds”:

People shouldn’t kill other people.
Husbands shouldn’t physically abuse their wives.
People should take care of their health.
Nobody should ever hurt children.
Husbands shouldn’t physically abuse their wives.

It’s okay to feel sad when others don’t follow our shoulds. We actually want to feel sad about these things I listed. We surely don’t want to feel happy about it. We just have to understand that remaining in a place of sadness and anger around these things doesn’t serve anyone.

If we want to become an activist around these things then it’s much more effective to get to a better feeling emotion first. Real change comes actions that are fueled with feelings of love for the abused rather than hate for the abuser.

Don’t Be Hypocritical

If you have shoulds for others, don’t you think it’d be a good idea if you followed your own should? The only behavior we can control is our own so that’s where our focus should be.

We can’t have a should for others that we are unwilling to follow ourselves. Classic example: “he should follow all the rules in my should book”. Well, are YOU following all the rules in HIS should book?

Turn Your Shoulds into Wants

Don’t use your should book against yourself. If you have shoulds for yourself, then see what you can do about dropping it down to a space of WANT. When you tell yourself you WANT to do something rather than SHOULD, then you’ll notice how much more empowering that feels.

Ask yourself why do you WANT to do these things? Do you like your reasons? Are you doing them from a place of fear, resentment, anger, guilt, jealousy, boredom, hate, blame or anxiety? Make sure your reasons are coming from a good place.

Example:

“I SHOULD work out every day, because I’m fat”

“I WANT to work out every day because I love my body and I appreciate good physical health.”

Can you see the difference in the emotions these two statements create?

Now tell me… what is in YOUR should book?

November 8, 2020 · in time management

Procrastination

Do you tend to procrastinate?

Why do you think that is?

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely procrastinate as well. What I’m trying to help you see, is that we all procrastinate for different reasons, but once we identify WHY, then we can actually make some changes.

The reason we procrastinate comes down to the way we are thinking about the task we are trying to get done. Here are a few thoughts you might identify with.

I don’t know how to do that…

That’s going to take so long…

It has to be perfect…

That’s not fun…

Here are a few tips that might help you GET IT DONE!

Break it down…

Make a list of all the steps you need to take to get it done. Tiny, doable, simple tasks. Then add them into your calendar. For example, let’s say you need to clean out your refridgerator. Here’s a sample list of how you can break it down so that it seems less daunting. You can even do just ONE thing from this list each day.

✅ Throw away all old food

✅ Go through the condiments

✅ Purchase organizational totes, labels, ect.

✅ Wash out veggie drawer

✅ Wash out fruit drawer

✅ Wipe and organize ONE shelf

You get the idea right? Sometime we make a project seem much harder than it is. But when we break it down into 5 min. tasks then it’s much less overwhelming.

Make it fun!

You can make any task fun if you just get creative. Turn on some music, light a candle, make a fun drink (I like sparkling strawberry water with half a lime). Make a party out of it, get other people involved, plan a reward for yourself when you get it done. Maybe you can allow yourself to purchase a new shirt, drink a glass of wine, or hire a babysitter and go get a massage. Insenstives are always helpful right?

Be okay with less than perfect work

Sometimes the reasons we put things off is because we BELIEVE if we are going to do it then it HAS to be A+ work. What if we allow it to be more like a B-? The reason why we think it needs to be perfect is usually only because of our own judgemnts. We are most likely judging ourselves too harshly and falsely believing that others are doing the same. Make a goal to give it 80% effort because you’re trading the other 20% in for a ✅ on your list. That feeling you get when you check things off is totally worth the 20% dock on your grade, amiright?

This month in Wannabe Balanced Coaching I’m diving deeper into Time Management. Some other things we will be covering are:

⏰ Procrastination

⏰ Honoring your commitments

⏰ How I plan my week

⏰ Minimizing distractions

⏰ Managing Overwhelm

⏰ Multitasking ???

⏰ Focus time, Creating, Learning & contributing.

🌟 Only $25 a month (price goes up soon)

🌟 Cancel anytime.

🌟 Get a free copy of my book

🌟 Get coached by me, on Zoom and in the app

🌟 New class every month

🌟 Worksheets to help you APPLY

JOIN ME in Wannabe Balanced and I will coach you on your way to better time management.

October 19, 2020 · in Uncategorized

5 secrets to Impeccable WILLPOWER

I used to think I had ZERO willpower. I believed I was weak when it came to sticking with goals, especially around food.

Sure, I could do it for a week or two, but over and over I found myself back to eating my daily quesa dillas and sucking down the energy drinks.

It’s taken me years to perfect the formula to actually STICK with something longterm.

I teach this a lot in my coaching practice but let me share 5 tips:

1. Never be angry at yourself when you eat something that wasn’t part of your planned protocol.

So you indulged in a treat, or a “junk” meal. Don’t make it mean anything about your ABILITY follow through. It does NOT mean you should go ahead and eat everything in sight the rest of the day. Just start fresh in this moment. No need to wait until tomorrow or next week. Get back on track NOW.

2. Tally up all the times you do NOT give in to the urges when they come.

Urges only last 10-15 minutes, you got this! Download my FREE Food Mood Tracker right HERE to help you notice the thoughts you have when the urges come. Our thoughts and feelings always drive our actions, so decide on some better thoughts that inspire better actions. On one of the sheets you’ll see 100 little squares. I want you to check one of those boxes every time you resist an urge. Watch how empowered you become when you check all 100 of those boxes.

3. Forget the past and move forward.

Ruminating over what was done, the habits you’ve created, the pounds you’ve put on, will never create the future you want. If you’re always using your past as evidence of what you’re capable of then your future will always look the same as your past.

4. When in your life have you committed yourself to something and succeeded?

Did you finish school? Have you been committed in friendships or in your marriage? Did you commit to raising your children? What thoughts drive you to be committed in these areas of your life? Now try to find thoughts with equal passion and commitment when it comes to YOU. Do you want to commit to taking care of yourself the same way you take care of others? Don’t you deserve that same level of love and care?

5. Eat to live, don’t live to eat. Eating has become a form of entertainment for us.

What if we decided to UNLEARN the desire to eat to be entertained. What if we decided that feeling good in our body longterm far outweighs the few moments of pleasure we get when we eat the garbage food. Make a list of alternative ways to entertain. Paint, go on a hike, have a dance party, make a fancy drink using sparkling water. Add some fresh lime and mint to make it pretty. Declutter a room or drawer. Rearrange the furniture in your home. Write a poem or a short story. The ideas are ENDLESS.

I’m so glad I didn’t believe my brain when it was telling me I had no willpower. I was determined to prove my brain wrong, hah! I win!

I hope you’ll take what I teach you and achieve your goals.

I’m rooting for yah.

~ Crystal

September 3, 2019 · in Podcast

Ep #62 Post Mormon Life w/ Life Coach Amy Logan

“It was 2006 and my faith crisis was at its peak. I remember laying on my front room floor wishing the earth would swallow me up. It would be so much easier than walking this path of confusion. I knew life would never be the same again.

[side note] I was born and raised mormon. I was a good mormon girl. I did all that was expected of me. I was on the path since day one. I held all the callings, kept all the rules and stayed on the very narrow path. BYU, married in the temple, children, stay at home mom, good wife, primary president, young women’s president and on and on and on. You know the story, right? We all sing a very similar song.

Thankfully, I stumbled along and found my way after my faith crisis. But it was really really hard. My life profoundly changed. Everything.

Looking back, I am so grateful for what I went through. I am a better person because of it.

It is now my life’s work to help others navigate this path. I am a certified life coach and I love helping other’s find their new voice. Being able to be a witness to this process is such a gift. I get to see my clients grow and expand in ways they never knew possible.

Helping you find your new voice is one of my favorite things! The new you is showing and she is beautiful!”

~Amy

AmyLoganLife.com

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March 6, 2019 · in addiction· balance· List's and Schedules· Podcast

Ep #47: Establishing a Morning Routine

Let’s be real, waking up before the kids is extremely difficult. But I definitely pay a price when I don’t get a head start on my day.

On the days I sleep in, I tend to feel scattered, overwhelmed, and a bit stressed. Lacking focus on what I need and should be doing, rendering an unproductive day.

Not only that but I struggle to be present when I’m with my kids. I try so hard to give them my full attention when they need me but I’m constantly feeling anxious and two steps behind.

I need the peace and stillness of the morning to organize my thoughts and my day. To meditate, to write out affirmations, to focus on gratitude, to read and to ponder. I simply needed QUIET TIME with no interruptions.

My morning routine gives me a sense of calm. I feel more centered and at peace with my daily mom work flow. I feel more relaxed, yet more productive. I’m able to focus and be more present with my children. Most importantly I just feel an overall sense of wellbeing.

Waking up early is hard, but the pay off is worth it. Studies have shown that waking up early can ACTUALLY put you in a better mood. It’s especially important for us moms. We rarely get a moment to ourselves and it’s better that we go to bed early and utilize those morning hours as opposed to staying up late to get your “YOU” time in. We are more productive in the morning hours than at night. In the evening I just end up watching Netflix.

I wanted to show you what my daily morning routine looks like, as well as give you a FREE printable. It’s just a little helpful guide for you to use as part of your morning rituals. Get your printable HERE.

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Night Prep

First of all, a successful daily morning routine starts the night before. Check out my NIGHT TIME ROUTINE video. I like to make everything a ritual really. I’m all about setting the mood. Lighting a candle or putting lavender in my Aroma Essential Oil Diffuser. Make yourself a cup of night time tea, put on a clarifying or moisturizing face mask, and play some calming music.

I find it helpful to write out a list of things I need and WANT to do the next day. Not just work and household tasks. But I really ponder the things I want to improve in my role as a mother and a wife. Like certain activities I want to do with my kids, or even write out little goals like; take more video and pics of them, pray together, teach them how to help with household chores. Pay more attention to the cute things they say and take the time to write them down. Bring a surprise lunch to my kids at school, or prepare a special family dinner.

I also like to take a moment to think about some ways I can make the day run smoother. Like starting a load of laundry, choosing all our outfits for the next day, making sure the car is cleaned out, and doing a little meal prep.

Wannabe Balanced Daily Morning Routine

You know I’m all about that BALANCE. I like to incorporate balance in everything I do and my daily morning routine is the perfect time to focus on mind, body, and soul. Again, I like to start by setting the mood. Find a comfy quiet spot, (preferably a place where you can watch the sun rise). Set up your Aroma Essential Oil Diffuser with some Relax & Rejuvenate essential oil blend. Make yourself a cup of tea, or warm lemon juice, and a big glass of water. I also like my caffeine. I drink coffee sometimes, but I really enjoy an EShot which is an all natural alternative energy shot with caffeine derived from Yerba Mate and adaptogens to help the body cope with stress.

If you could wake up 2 hours before your kids that would be ideal, but I know for me its REALLY hard to do that. So I do what I can and usually I wake up just an hour before they wake up and I still see that positive impact it has on my mood and the flow of my day. Here is an example of what my morning quiet time looks like.

- Record my dreams
- Drink large glass of water
- Brush my teeth with left hand
- Listen to a song with uplifting words
- Do a little stretching and or some Yoga poses.
- Meditate with my grounding mat and crystals
- Read
- Write
- Brain Boosting Smoothie (see my recipe HERE)
- Fill out my worksheet which includes a gratitude list and affirmations.
- Get dressed for the day, make your bed, and start preparing breakfast.

On the printable worksheet I felt it very important to address my Phone Addiction. I want to set aside a few hours a day where my phone is OFF LIMITS. Not texting, no siri, no google, no checking email and social media notifications.

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June 2, 2018 · in Podcast

Ep #18: How I Endured A Panic Attack

Just recently I experienced the most intense fear and it lasted for 3 days. I know that doesn’t seem like a long time when you compare it to someone who has been battling depression their whole life. But when you’re experiencing such intense emotion, and it stays for days, you begin to wonder if it will ever go away. Your fear of the fear intensifies because it’s hard to take control of your mind at that point. We all know that we create our own realities and what we think and believe is truly the baseline of our reality. So even through I knew this, it was hard to find thoughts that I could believe. Saying what you want to think in order to feel better, doesn’t necessarily work unless you can believe it. And believing is the hard part. Believing requires faith and faith is hard to obtain when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.