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July 11, 2017 · in Activities For Kids· balance· happiness· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe· motherhood

Cherish the Moments ~ Being More Present as a Mother

Motherhood is overwhelming. And although it can be the most fulfilling and joyful job in the world, it’s hard to remember that when dinner burns on the stove because you were cleaning up yet another diaper blowout and moderating an argument between two bickering siblings. The days feel like they never let up. But eventually we notice that our baby has grown out of toddler clothes and we wonder where all the time has gone.

Every mother has her own style and her own approach to parenting. However, it’s important to take time to appreciate the small moments of motherhood and be grateful for what we have instead of berating ourselves for what we lack. This can help us to think clearer, reduce stress, and create a more nurturing environment for our family. Does that sounds like too tall of an order? Well, here are a few ways that we can try practicing gratitude in motherhood, and appreciate the precious and limited time we have with our children while they’re still little.

Take Easy Family Trips

A full family vacation might feel like more than you can handle with the whole family. However, a small day trip with the children is never really out of reach. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal! In fact, it’ll be easier on you if it’s close by. Take the kids to a new park, to an event at the library, on a small hike, or out to see an interesting landmark or historical site in your area.

Sometimes it takes getting out of the house and out of our normal routines to really focus on each other. Taking opportunities like these create great memories for both you and your children.

Unplug

We spend a lot of time blaming the rising generation for their dependence on technology, but we forget that our children learn their behavior from us. How often are you distracted from your children because you’re browsing social media, or having 5 texting conversations at once? That’s why I put together the #WannabeHandsFree summer challenge. It’s not too late to join me on this challenge. See all the details in the blog post and YouTube video. Plus, I’m giving away a Jujube bag at the end of the summer to one lucky participant. Enter HERE!

Counter this by making more of a distinction between tech time and family time. When you’re doing an activity with your children, put your phone away.

Momma Time

This is one of my kids favorite things. At bedtime, one of the kids get special momma time, while the other kids went to sleep. Each child gets their turn of completely undivided time with mom, telling stories, reading, watching a movie together, or just chatting about life.

Mother/Child Dates

Similar to the principle of momma time, set aside time now and then for a “date” with one of your children. Hire a sitter or get your spouse to watch the other kids and spend time just having fun away from the house with your child. This can be especially fun as your child gets older, between ages 8 and 13.

Turn Off the Car Radio

Why is it that some of the most important discussions with your children happen in the car? I believe that it’s something that you should embrace. It can be frustrating when arguments or important discussions arise when you’re trying to focus on road safety, but you can enable them instead of snuffing them out when you decide to use car time to focus on your children. Instead of talking on the phone, or listening to the radio, listen to your child and whatever it is that they want to talk about.

Step Away

That’s right, one of the best ways to enjoy time with your children is to have less of it. Not always, just sometimes. If you’ve hit that point of burnout where you struggle to find patience and appreciation for your job as a mother, maybe it’s time for a bit of a break!

This can be as minor as assigning one child responsibility over the others (or telling your spouse he’s in charge) while you take some time alone in another room to meditate, do yoga, paint, read, or do something else that you know helps you feel restored. On the other hand, it might be something bigger, like hiring a sitter while you go on a trip with your girlfriends or your spouse. Needing to get away now and then doesn’t make you a bad mom; it makes you human. You’ll be a better mother for the time away.

Make Eye Contact and Listen

How many times a day does your child call out for your attention? How often do you have them trailing you around, tugging on your clothes, as you try to accomplish something yourself? Well, make a decision here and now that you will never be divided and half-hearted in your interactions with your children. Instead, put down what you’re doing, make eye contact with your child and converse with focus. If, on the other hand, it’s not time for you to be concentrating on them, be very clear that now is not the time for you to answer their endless “why”s.

Have Daily Rituals

Do you have a daily ritual with your children? Often, these moments hover around bedtime, mealtimes, or in the mornings. It might be the time you spend helping your child brush his or her teeth, reading bedtime stories, or asking the same question every night around the dinner table. In any case, daily rituals help the whole family re-center on each other, and it can be a wonderful time that your child ends up looking forward to each day.

July 7, 2017 · in balance· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe

Why I Do What I Do

Every once in a while I get really down about my abilities and what I’m pursuing. I start to think I’m not cut out to be a blogger, Youtuber, Instagrammer, ect. But really what does that even mean? These are all social media platforms intended to share bits and pieces of our lives, teach, inspire, and connect. Why do I tell myself that if I’m not gaining a certain amount of traction that what I have to offer is not valuable? When this happens I realize two things…

I’ve started comparing myself again and
I’ve forgotten my purpose.

My purpose is not to be popular and gain a lot of followers and views. My purpose is to SHARE! That’s all it is. I’m realizing more and more that these blog posts, videos and pictures that I work so hard to create, has invaluable purpose. If anything, I’m creating my own personal history for my children. I’m opening up and sharing my heart and telling my STORY.

I tend to feel guilty a lot about how I spend my time. I’m always questioning myself and wondering if it’s what God wants me to do. I ALWAYS circle back and regain that confidence that God is proud of me for what I’m doing. Satan is the one that makes me second myself. He wants me to feel like I’m a bad mom for pursuing something I enjoy and love. He wants me to feel that it’s selfish when deep down inside I KNOW my own heart and motive. I KNOW that my intensions are pure and I’m always looking to God for guidance. He wants to keep me playing small and never reaching my true potential. He wants me to feel inferior and that I’m not talented enough, funny enough, or pretty enough to do the things I set out to do.

Life is all about experimenting. We have to continue experimenting with new ideas in order to find the right path. It’s never an easy process and I think a lot of times we fool ourselves into thinking that if what we’re pursuing doesn’t seem to happen quickly enough then maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t be doing it at all. NO!!!! That is a lie! We need patience, persistence, and purpose. We need to live PASSIONATELY not PASSIVELY. We need to support not suppress.

Reasons why I do what I do!

Because it helps me grow as a person.

I thrive on learning new things. Instead of taking college courses which I could easily do, I’ve chosen books and the internet as my source of education. How blessed we are to have so much information at our fingertips. I love learning a new skill. I love figuring out how to create videos, how to write better, and how social media works. These are all skills that I feel are important in this generation and I can then pass these skills on to my children as they get older.

I’m experimenting.

As I mentioned before, life is about experimenting. Nothing is a waste of time as long as we have our priorities straight and stay connected to God as our source of Guidance. Everything we try that fails, is actually a success, because we grow from these experiences. We learned something! Think of the amount of money we spend on gaining an education the traditional college way. Most people are paying off student loans for decades. So the way I look at it is, I AM in school. The school of life. I have to pay the price for learning, whether it be money, time, or blood sweat and tears. I’m creating my STORY through my experiences and my story is ENOUGH and it adds value to my life, my children’s life, and by sharing it on social media, it’s possibly adding value to the lives of others, even if it be just one.

Family History.

The Internet and social media is not going anywhere so why not create your family history online. Creating video journals and journaling on a blog is a way to preserve these memories and allows me to pass on the lesson’s of my life.

I’m creating jobs.

Haha. I’m all about supporting the economy. Being a mom and trying to create content and manage multiple social media accounts I realized the value of outsourcing. I’ve hired out my house cleaning and laundry cause I HATE it. So I’m providing a job for poor college students needing a flexible schedule and some extra cash to live on while going to school. Also, I’ve hired a few other people to help me with different things online. Like a web designer, personal consultant, Pinterest expert, SEO, photographers, YouTube gurus, ect.

It makes us income.

This is one thing I kinda hate to talk about because I never want to be that person that’s just all about making money, but making money is kind of important so I’m learning to embrace it. Having an online presence definitely gives me opportunities to share the products I’m passionate about.

Writing this all out serves as a reminder for me when I have those doubts and days where I feel like giving up. I don’t want Satan to get the best of me. I am ENOUGH!

Free Resources

Welcome to the Wannabe Balanced free resources page. Here you will find lots of great resources to assist you in your quest for balance, mind, body, and soul.

Kitten Contract

ER Shred Healing MINDSET Class

Wannabe Healthy

ER Shred Organization

WBB Organization

Wannabe Balanced Creativity

ER Shred Mindset Creativity

Wannabe Confident Self Love Workbook

Don’t Break the Chain Tracker

WBB Journal Prompts

Converting Desires into Reality Desires into Reality

ER Shred it’s up to me in 2023

Who do you Wanna BE in 2023

ER Shred Wannabe Confident Self Love Workbook

Wannabe Feel Better Method

Lunch Meal Plans

Dinner Meal Plan 1

Wannabe Free Challenge Printable

Family Vacation Checklist

Morning Routine

Wannabe Handsfree

Summer Fun

Meal Plan

May 31, 2017 · in 52 Weeks of Balance Project· balance· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe· List's and Schedules· Monthly Challenge

Wannabe Hands Free ~ Summer Challenge

I couldn’t think of a better time to do the hands free challenge. I’ve been working on these monthly challenges for a while now. So far we’ve done Wannabe Fearless, Wannabe Balanced, Wannabe Lean, Wannabe Confident, and Wannabe Organized.

Now I’m so excited to reveal the Wannabe Hands free challenge. A way for us to be more intentional on being hands free by putting down our phones and focusing on our kids while they are out of school for the summer. These challenges are inspired by things that I particularly struggle with and thought it would be so fun to include you all in my attempts to becoming a happier, and more balanced mother for my children. I’m reading the book Hands Free Mama And I’m soaking up every bit of it and I’d highly recommend this book to any mom.

I’ve talked about the addiction to my phone before and I’ve been making a conscious effort to have a balance when it comes to the amount of time I spend on my phone. Some days I do really great, but most days it’s a problem. That’s also why as part of my morning routine, I decide which hours in the day I will PUT THE PHONE AWAY!

Why is it sooooo hard?

A while ago my 8 year old, the one who is best at the laying on the guilt, told me I’m ALWAYS on my phone. It was a tough pill to swallow. I found myself trying to validate my actions by explaining to him that a lot of what I do is important stuff. I’m not wasting time mindlessly scrolling through my news feed. It all has a purpose! He didn’t believe me. Grrrr! Although what I do on my phone does legitimately serve a purpose, there still needs to be a balance. It’s easy to lose sight of priorities even when what you’re doing is good.

At the same time, EVERYTHING is on our phones. In reality, our phones are our life. It holds our pics and videos, our contacts, our bank accounts, our grocery lists, maps, google, Amazon Prime, passwords, calendars, appointments. The list goes on and on. It’s no wonder we are obsessed right? It’s hard to put something down that contains so much of what we need each day. I’ve been trying to do some things the old fashion way, like use an actual Day Planner instead of my phone calendar. Make a grocery list with REAL paper and a pen. Use a camera that is NOT my phone camera, and read printed books instead of ebooks.

I have the tendency to overdo it when it comes to things. It drives my husband crazy! One summer I had a goal to declutter and get my house organized. I didn’t just do a little here and there, I started first thing in the morning and went late into the night for weeks until I had everything just the way I wanted it.

That’s why “Wannabe Balanced Mom” was the perfect name for me. The struggle is real folks. I want balance, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. Takes consistent effort thats for sure.

I know that the phone addiction is a real thing and A LOT of people can relate. So this challenge will be a great way to hold one another accountable in our efforts to reign it in and have a healthier balance with the time spent on our phones.

I wanted to provide an incentive for everyone who participates, that’s why I have put together a nice prize for one of you lucky participants. At the end of the summer I will choose a winner and announce it in the Wannabe Balanced Facebook Group. I have a Ju-Ju-Be Bag I want to give to one of you ladies.

How To Enter:

Participate!!!
Join the Wannabe Balanced Facebook Group
Add people to the group who you think would like this challenge. Each person (comment) you add counts as an entry (leave a separate comment in the Giveaway feed for each person you add).
Share this blog post on Facebook or share the Image below on Instagram (be sure to tag me in the image and caption). Use #wannabehandsfree hashtag when you post.
Follow me on Instagram
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel
Pin this post to Pinterest

I’ve created this free printable list of goals for you to check off. Download the PDF HERE. Let me walk you through this printable and explain how to use it.

No Phone Days

Choose 4 days this month to be completely without your phone. Sundays work best for me.

Activities with Kids

Get yourself on Pinterest and plan at least 5 fun activities you will do with your kids this month.

Journal

Journal your thoughts and experience at least 4 different times this month. Explain your goals, why you’re doing it, and what you’re noticing. Are you having withdrawals? Is it easy? Is if hard? Do you feel happier? Are your kids happier? Do you feel more present and centered?

Wannabe Hands Free Check List

Be public about your goals. Tell your friends and family or even share online. This will create more accountability for you. The more people that know, the less likely you will be to give in. If you post on social media then use the hashtag #wannabehandsfree so we can all find each other and offer support.
Change your phone notifications. Silent as many notifications as possible and even delete certain apps if necessary.
Create a No Phone Routine. Use my morning routine printable to help you decide which hours during the day you will set the phone down and resist any temptations to check notifications, send emails, or jump on social media. Absolutely NO PHONE during this hour. It’s good to practice that self control.
Let go of your “to do” list. If you’re like me, this is extremely hard to do. I wrote about how I quit my “to do” list last year. Although I know how important it is to be organized and make plans, I also know that our “to do” lists tend to have a strong handle on our lives, leaving less room for spontaneity and presence. So give it a try, throw out your to do list this month, or even just for a day. Do what you can to focus more on the present and what you feel is important in this very moment. Let your instincts be your guide.
Plan and act of kindness. Get your kids involved and plan a little service project or a simple act of kindness you can do together.
Create a Life List with your kids. Help your kids create a list of things they want to do in their lives. This will help remind them that in order to make these things happen, we must be spending more time pursuing them and less time watching Netflix and playing video games.
No phone nature walk or hike with the kids. I know we all feel we MUST document everything we do which is great! But sometimes we just need to focus on being in the moment and less on documenting. I love the part in the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

“If I like a moment, I mean, me… personally. I don’t like to have the distraction of a camera. I just want to stay in it. Right there… right here.”

~Sean O’Connell

<<<Get Your FREE Printable HERE>>>

May 12, 2017 · in 52 Weeks of Balance Project· addiction· balance· Inspiration· time management

Establishing A Daily Morning Routine

Let’s be real. Waking up before the kids is extremely difficult. Usually Owen (my 3 year old) wakes up first and has no sympathy whatsoever. He comes straight into my room and yells at me to get out of bed. I beg him for one more minute but he shows no mercy and the yelling just escalates into a full on tantrum. This has been my life for the past 6 months or so. I completely got out of the habit of making time for personal study, prayer and meditation.

<<<Listen to my Morning Routine Podcast Episode HERE>>>

I’d go about my days feeling scattered, overwhelmed, and a bit stressed. I lacked focus on what I needed and should be doing each day, therefore I was not as productive as normal. Not only that but I struggled to be present when I was with my kids. I tried so hard to give them my full attention when I knew they needed me but my mind would wonder, and I was constantly worried about what needed to be done. Over time I began to notice feelings of anxiety creeping in. Thats when I knew I needed to make some changes.

So I decided to take action. I knew I needed to take more time to prepare for the day instead of constantly feeling two steps behind and playing catch up. I needed the peace and stillness of the morning to organize my thoughts and my day. To pray to God about the things that were on my mind. To write out my affirmations and gratitude list. To read and to ponder. I simply needed QUIET TIME with no interruptions.

The last two weeks I’ve been waking up an hour or two before the kids to allow that time to revive my morning ritual, and guess what? I’ve noticed an unbelievable difference. I feel more calm, more centered and more at peace with my daily mom work flow. I feel more relaxed, yet more productive. I’m able to focus and be more present with my children. Most importantly I just feel an overall sense of wellbeing.

Waking up early is hard, but the pay off is worth it. Studies have shown that waking up early can ACTUALLY put you in a better mood. It’s especially important for us moms. We rarely get a moment to ourselves and it’s better that we go to bed early and utilize those morning hours as opposed to staying up late to get your “YOU” time in. We are more productive in the morning hours than at night. In the evening I just end up watching Netflix. At night I’m in no mood to read or write that’s for sure.

I wanted to show you what my daily morning routine looks like, as well as give you a FREE printable I created with the help of my friend Glady at Hearttakethewheel.com. It’s just a little helpful guide for you to use as part of your morning rituals. Get your printable HERE.

Night Prep

First of all, a successful daily morning routine starts the night before. I like to make everything a ritual really. I’m all about setting the mood. Lighting a candle or putting lavender in my Aroma Essential Oil Diffuser. Make yourself a cup of night time tea, put on a clarifying or moisturizing face mask, and play some calming music.

I find it helpful to write out a list of things I need and WANT to do the next day. Not just work and household tasks. But I really ponder the things I want to improve in my role as a mother and a wife. Like certain activities I want to do with my kids, or even write out little goals like; take more video and pics of them, pray together, teach them how to help with household chores. Pay more attention to the cute things they say and take the time to write them down. Bring a surprise lunch to my kids at school, or prepare a special family dinner.

I also like to take a moment to think about some ways I can make the day run smoother. Like starting a load of laundry, choosing all our outfits for the next day, making sure the car is cleaned out, and doing a little meal prep.

Wannabe Balanced Daily Morning Routine

You know I’m all about that BALANCE. I like to incorporate balance in everything I do and my daily morning routine is the perfect time to focus on mind, body, and soul. Again, I like to start by setting the mood. Find a comfy quiet spot, (preferably a place where you can watch the sun rise). Set up your Aroma Essential Oil Diffuser with some Relax & Rejuvenate essential oil blend. Make yourself a cup of tea, or warm lemon juice, and a big glass of water. I also like my caffeine. I don’t drink coffee, but I do enjoy an EShot which is an all natural alternative energy shot with caffeine derived from Yerba Mate and adaptogens to help the body cope with stress.

If you could wake up 2 hours before your kids that would be ideal, but I know for me its REALLY hard to do that. So I do what I can and usually I wake up just an hour before they wake up and I still see that positive impact it has on my mood and the flow of my day. Here is an example of what my morning quiet time looks like.

- Prayer
- Listen to a song with uplifting words (I like to listen to Today’s Christian Hits channel on Pandora).
- Do a little stretching and or some Yoga poses.
- Meditate
- Read scriptures
- Read a few pages in the book I’m reading. Right now it’s Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
- Fill out my worksheet which includes your gratitude list and affirmations.
- Get dressed for the day and start preparing breakfast.

On the printable worksheet I felt it very important to address my Phone Addiction. I want to set aside a few hours a day where my phone is OFF LIMITS. Not texting, no siri, no google, no checking email and social media notifications.

<<<REQUEST YOUR FREE PRINTABLE>>>

May 5, 2017 · in happiness· homeschooling· Inspiration· Life of a Wannabe· motherhood

Navigating Peer Pressure as an Adult

You’d think that peer pressure was something that affects only teens and college age adults, but surprisingly, even us 30 something year old women experience peer pressure as well. As moms, for example, we might feel pressured to work late into the night finishing our never ending “to do” list so we can keep up with the Pinterest perfect lifestyle. Maybe you even feel pressured to do things like have all your family photos perfectly organized and printed out into books, have your house neat and tidy ALL the time, or have healthy balanced meals prepared every single day.

These are a few examples of the peer pressures I put on myself. Peer pressure can push you to do things that undermine your physical health, that threaten your mental health, or that take you away from the things that you should be pursuing. Here is a look at some key things to remember as you navigate peer pressure and comparison with others as an adult.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Social media can be a major source of peer pressure for adults. We often compare our lives to those of the people we know, and this can lead us to experience all kinds of peer pressure—pressure to be a successful momprenuer, pressure to travel more, pressure to have more kids, etc. But remember: comparison is the thief of joy. As long as you are following your own passions and living a life that offers fulfillment for you, there is no need to compare yourself to others. Doing so will only rob you of joy that you could be experiencing in the here and now.

You can live your own life without ruffling any feathers (for the most part).

Sometimes in making our own career, education, motherhood decisions, and other life choices, we feel this need to please other people in the back of our minds. You might, for example, choose to adopt a particular set of beliefs around how to educate your children and then constantly feel as though you are on the defensive any time the topic of education comes up. Or, you a might be following a Nutritional Cleansing Program and feel as though you need to justify it to other people any time you are hanging out with others. At these times, it’s important to remember that people are probably going to be more respectful of your personal decisions than you expect them to be. So rather than putting yourself on the defensive about your life decisions, choose to live your life with confidence. As long as you are not self-righteous or pretentious about your way of life, people will generally respect you and your lifestyle (at least for the most part).

Know how (and when) to stand up for yourself.

Even if you are someone who tends to live their own lifestyle without ruffling any feathers, you are going to meet people who question the way you live and who make you feel as though your way of living is inferior to theirs. In these situations, it’s important to know how to stand up for yourself. This article about navigating sobriety in social situations, for example, lists a number of ways that you can stand up for your decision not to drink at a party. You might choose to keep friends who understand your decision close by, for example, or you might have a response prepared beforehand, like “I’m doing it for my health.”

It isn’t always appropriate or advisable to stand up for yourself in situations where you experience negative peer pressure regarding your lifestyle. Sometimes, it may be better to simply leave the situation to avoid confrontation. Some people simply cannot be reasoned with, and in these situations you may simply have to “turn the other cheek,” so to speak.

There are positive forms of peer pressure.
Not all forms of peer pressure are inherently bad. Maybe you and your circle of friends are used to living a rather sedentary lifestyle, for example, but your circle of friends has recently developed an interest in fitness and working out. You may feel pressured to start working out yourself even though you would rather not. Yes, this is a form of peer pressure, but you can channel that pressure into a healthy desire to become more physically fit. Some other examples of positive peer pressure include pressure to go back to school, pressure to quit smoking, and pressure to seek a healthy, lasting relationship. This type of peer pressure should never make you feel negatively toward yourself, but instead it should help you reevaluate the decisions you are making for your own life as needed. And when you “give in” to these positive forms of peer pressure, you can rest assured that you will have a support system waiting to help you along the way.

Pictures taken by Hearttakethewheel.com

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